


Shot To Hell

by NightOwl1



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Alcohol, Blindfolds, Demon Sex, M/M, Mpreg, Twincest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:03:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5954608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightOwl1/pseuds/NightOwl1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a drinking contest, Dante takes a job, and ends up biting off more than he can chew. Lucky for Dante, a mysterious new devil hunter bails him out. Now Dante is stuck with a new partner and roommate at the Devil May Cry that he finds himself drawn to. Just who is this Gilver and why does he always wear those bandages?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mission One: Shot To Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Devil May Cry and all of its characters belong to Capcom
> 
> Warnings: Language, Violence, Booze, Twincest, Blindfolds, Demon Sex, and Nero's Backstory That Capcom Pulled Out Of Their Ass

Mission One:  
The Shot To Hell

Dante swaggered into the Bull's Eye with a wide smirk, eyeing Bobby the bartender with a devilish gleam. Lady walked behind him and snarled at him. “Dante, you idiot! It's suicide! If you're going to get yourself killed, at least have the decency of giving me my money!”

  
Dante glared at her. “Well, I'm dead broke. Some new asshole in town has been taking all the good jobs. If you don't want me to take Bobby's challenge then stop bleeding me dry!”

  
Lady grumbled, said asshole has been cutting in on her jobs as well. “I'm broke too thanks to that asshole, Gilver! He's been stealing my jobs too!”

  
Dante quirked an eyebrow. “Gilver? You've met him? Tell me what he looks like so I can give him a special devil hunter's hello.” Dante patted his twin guns Ebony, and Ivory for emphasis.

  
Dante had heard of the new devil hunter, but hadn't seen him. He arrived in town a month ago the same time Dante got back from Fortuna. Dante had hoped with the Order dealt with, that he would see more jobs his way, but no such luck. With two women, and now the kid, Nero, eating him out of house, home, and pizza, Dante was dead broke.

  
Lady sighed. “I've only met the guy once on a job, and no, I don't know what he looks like. No one does. He keeps his face and hands covered in bandages like a mummy, and dresses like Liberace on a hot date. He uses a katana to slice demon up like sushi.”

  
Dante whistled. “Sounds like a real circus freak. Even by our crowd's standards. Well, as much as I would like to find this mummified Liberace, I got a bar bet to win.”

  
Dante slammed a fifty on the counter. “Bobby, I'm taking your challenge! Give me a Shot To Hell, please!”

  
The bar fell silent, then people gathered around to watch the latest idiot try the bar's strongest drink. Bobby shook his head. “Son, I've had this challenge up for close to thirty years, and no one's won it. Dante, I like you, and I'm not going to lie. This drink has flat out murdered the livers of even the strongest of men. This is drink no mortal man can handle.”

  
Dante gave Bobby his best shit eating grin. “Well, good thing I am no mortal man. Give me my drink please!”

  
Bobby sighed and disappeared under the counter. He came back up with a paper, and a fishbowl stuffed to the brim with various sizes of bills. “Put your money in the fishbowl, sign this consent form, and I'll have someone ready to call an ambulance for you.”

  
Dante signed his name with gusto, while ignoring Lady's pleas to back out. Dante put his money in with rest of the money Bobby has collected from suckers over the years when Trish strode in. Dante gave Trish a big grin. “Trish! Glad you're here! I'm about to hit the jackpot!”

  
Trish looked at Lady for answers. “What's he talking about?”

  
Lady sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Don't ask, just watch the latest jackassery unfold.”

  
Trish turned to Dante. “Dante, I thought you'd like to know that I've got you a job. A client has been having trouble finding a hunter willing to take it, and doubled the bounty. He said he hired another hunter by the name of Gilver, and its first come first serve. You want it?”

  
Dante growled angrily at the mention of the asshole who's been putting a dent in his wallet. “Hell yeah! I ain't letting that asshole steal more of my kills! Right after my drink.”

  
Lady snorted. “If he's still alive that is.”

  
Bobby cleared his throat and addressed the growing crowd of people. “Alrighty folks! We got ourselves another idiot willing to swig down my strongest poison: The Shot To Hell. For those who don't know, anyone able to drink The Shot To Hell without passing out, wins all of this here money. Let's cheer on this brave bastard that's going to be shot to hell in the morning!”

  
The crowd cheered and chanted Dante's name, who crowed like rooster. Bobby got out a huge martini glass, several bottles of liquor and some rather unusual ingredients. “Right, to make one Shot To Hell, you start with a shot of Jack Daniels, a splash of bourbon, a shot of the Appalachian's strongest Moonshine, juice from an unfrozen blue raspberry popsicle, Red Bull, the worm from a tequila bottle, some skittles, and the weirdest ingredient of all: a drop of spinal fluid from a slain Hell Lust. Then we wait for the worm to start twitching. If all goes right it should start eating the skittles.”

  
Bobby mixed them all in the glass, and when he added the drop of demon's blood the bar waited with bated breathe. Then the worm started moving and mutating into something that belongs in hell. It swam toward the skittles and devoured them with all the ferocity of a sugar starved kid. Bobby smiled. “Right. Now we stir with a home pregnancy test until it turns positive...”

  
Bobby stirred the insidious looking drink with the pregnancy test, then a pink plus sign appeared indicating somebody was going to have a baby shower. “Then we set on fire so the worm burns up, blow it out, and serve.”

  
The bar watched in fascination as the Bobby lit the drink up, the fire turning many different colors. The technicolored fire burned up the demon worm, making a horrible screech as it turned to ash. Bobby blew the fire out, and the smoke took on an ominous skull shape. The drink was a bubbling red concoction that looked and smelled like something Satan pissed out after binging on Halloween candy. Bobby slid the drink over to Dante. “Bottoms up, Dante.”

  
Dante sniffed it, and flinched as his nose hairs got singed by the smell. He pinched his nose and chugged the whole thing in one gulp. Dante coughed after he swallowed the last drop of the foul drink, and threw his arms up in victory. “I'm still standing! I'll take my money, and that job!”

  
Bobby put up his hand. “Wait for it.”

  
Dante took two steps and then had the unusual sensation that he could only describe as being trampled by a herd of unicorns with an after taste of sugar, shame, and sex. His whole world lit up with an explosion of light and color. Then a warm pleasant feeling shot straight to his groin, and his head was filled with the bittersweet memory of his first time. Ghostly sensations of familiar hands and lips so similar to his own caressed him. That euphoric feeling of something that was so wrong, and yet so right was enough to bring him to his knees. Dante gasped that forbidden name under his breath. “Vergil...”

  
His head felt like it was swimming in rainbow sprinkles but he remained conscious. He shook his head of the memory of his twin and of blissful days he drank to forget. Dante dragged himself back up the counter, and stood on shaky feet. He remembered he was at the bar, but wondered if this place always had the disco lights he kept seeing. He snarled at Bobby, who for some reason had purple skin and pink tusks. “I'll take my damn money now, ya purple bastard.”

  
The whole bar stared at the sight of the first man to be standing after drinking the Shot To Hell. Dante took the fishbowl and shoved handfuls of bills into his pants, and boots. Dante stopped at stared at Trish in fascination at her new fluffy white bunny ears. Dante giggled at her, and poked her fluffy looking bunny ears, but only felt air. “Okay you wascally wabbit! Where's that job?”

  
Trish looked at Dante with worry. “It's at the new strip joint, the Silken Sin, but Dante you don't look-”

  
Dante cut her off with the joy of a boy on Christmas. “The Silken Sin?! Hot damn, let's rock!”

  
Dante ran out the door with speed that only a Blitz could rival. A feat considering obvious bulge in his pants. Lady looked at Trish with wide eyes. “The Silken Sin? Isn't that the job I dumped onto you?”

  
Trish wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, now I'm dumping that shit job onto Dante. I'm surprised you didn't cut out the middle woman and dump it straight to him.”

  
Lady groaned. “I gave it to you so you could have the opportunity to burn a strip joint to the ground. One less place for Dante to blow his money on.”

  
Trish sighed. “You think Dante will be okay in his condition? Those demons aren't looking for food.”

  
Lady laughed. “He's the son of Sparda. I think he can handle himself just fine. Besides better him than us. The last time I cleared out a breeding pit, a demon tried to shove its tentacles in places the sun don't shine.”

  
Trish shuddered. “I hate tentacles...”

 


	2. Mission Two: Silken Sin

 

There were very few moments in Dante's life where he regretted walking into a strip joint with an erection the size of Temen-Ni-Gru, and stoned off his ass. In fact this was the first time. The job Trish gave him, was a shit job. One worse than the shit jobs that Lady usually gave him, in fact he wouldn't be surprised if Lady had something to do with this. The Silken Sin was a demon breeding pit, and he was a half-demon that stunk of booze, and lust. The demons were so far gone in their mating frenzy that they didn't even bother to spout curses at the son of Sparda or even buy him dinner. The demonic pheromones he was breathing in made things worse for his already sloshed brain. Before, the entire world was sparkling with rainbows, now the floor had melted into snakes, and they were crawling up his leg.

  
Most of Dante's clothes were torn to shreds, including his beloved red coat. Demons didn't tell the difference between killing their prey or mating with it. It was thanks to his sheer stubbornness that his pants remained. Ebony and Ivory had been knocked from his shaking hands, and it was taking more and more effort to swing Rebellion. Dante's strength was waning.

  
Several demons wrapped their tentacles around Dante's limbs, trying to pin him down. The largest one, clearly the leader, had its claw around his neck and forced Dante to look up at him. With an echoing clatter, Rebellion had fallen from Dante's weakened grasp. The large demon breathed heavily in Dante's face, the smell was worse than Bobby's drink. His skin was melting with the all colors of the rainbow, and he had Mickey Mouse's head, but Dante knew it was the Shot To Hell talking. He crooned at Dante in a deep very un-Mickey Mouse like voice. “I will make you mine, Dante, and mark you with my kiss!”

  
Dante snorted. It was hard to take a death threat from demons seriously when they looked like they came out of a Disney cartoon. “Sure whatever, Mickey. Do Donald, and Goofy over there get a turn?”

  
Mickey the demon roared at Dante. “Insolent worm! It will feel so good when I fuck your corpse, son of Sparda!”

  
Demon-Mickey leaned in closer, his teeth coming closer and closer to where Dante's neck met his shoulder. Dante wriggled as best he could. Trying his best to kick and scream. The Demon's Kiss was a mark that would take years to fade, and was Hell's equivalent of a tramp stamp saying “Property Of...” Dante had one given to him once when he was sixteen, and Vergil's mark had only completely faded away before going to Mallet Island. It was a shame, it kept other demons from trying to give him another.

  
Dante managed to land a kick in the family jewels, making the demon squeal in a high pitched voice. Now he sounded like Mickey Mouse. Demon-Mickey slammed him painfully into the wall, and impaled his torso with his claws. Hope was fading fast from Dante's mind. 'Oh God, I'm going to die like this. High in a strip joint with no babes, and about to be gang banged by a demon that looked like Mickey Mouse.'

  
Suddenly demon-Mickey's head fell off his shoulders, and its blood gushed out like fountain. It dead body was sliced into many sections before hitting the ground. Dante looked straight ahead and saw a man dressed in strangely familiar purple coat, and multicolored bandages wrapped around his head. The only feature of his face that was visible was his blood red eyes. In his hands was a katana with a red hilt and a blade that sparkled. Demon-Mickey's cronies turned their attention to the mysterious man. He flew like lightening, and his slices flashed in the air. He shot out purple bolts of light, impaling the demons. He moved with inhuman grace, and so much like Vergil.  
Dante's heart clenched. Vergil was dead. It couldn't be him. His intoxicated mind was playing with him. Dante wondered if he was hallucinating, the fact that the man left trails of rainbows whenever he moved made him question how much he was seeing was real. The demons were dead, and their carcasses melting into different colors. The bandaged man, who looked like he was sparkling, put his blade away, and stepped toward Dante. He spoke with cold elegance. “It would be a shame for the legendary Dante to die like this. A most ignoble end for a son of Sparda.”

  
He even sounded like his brother. Dante felt a spark of hope light up despite his best attempts to piss it out. Whether or not this Vergil hallucination was real, he had to at least enjoy it before he sobered up. He giggled. “Yeah, no kidding. Gang raped by Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy. Not exactly how I want to go out. Thanks for slicing them up with your glittery sword Mr. Rainbow Mummy.”

  
The rainbow mummy man looked puzzled, and Dante could see question marks floating over his head in bubble letters. “Rainbow mummy? Are you high right now?”

  
Dante giggled again, and nodded. “Yup! I'm higher than fuck!”

  
Dante glomped the rainbow mummy man that reminded him of Vergil. He even smelled like his brother. Dante started grinding his erection against the other man, not caring anymore. The rainbow mummy man slapped Dante, and put something strong smelling under Dante's nose. “Get a hold of yourself, you imbecile!”

  
Dante blinked at the world, it looked less colorful now, and he felt a little more sober. The demons' carcasses looked like normal bestial horrors from Hell rather than a Disney cartoon. The other man's bandages even stopped changing colors. He stared at the garish way the man dressed. Apparently he wasn't hallucinating the flamboyant outfit. The only people he knew of that dressed like that were his father, his brother, and Liberace. Something clicked in Dante's mind. His face was bandaged up like a mummy, and he dressed like Liberace on a hot date. “Wait a goddamn minute! You're that asshole who's been stealing my kills! You're Gilver, aren't you?”

  
Gilver scowled. “Yes. I am Gilver. I am also that 'asshole', as you so eloquently put it, that just saved your life. I also apologize for stealing any kills that rightfully belonged to you, but I am in need of money.”

  
Dante felt a stab of guilt. Gilver may have pulled a dick move by cutting in on his jobs, but he did save his life, and he did apologize. The fact that Gilver apologized squashed out any hope that his dead brother miraculously came back from the dead. Vergil was an asshole, but this Gilver wasn't. Dante smiled at him. “Sorry. Didn't mean to be a dick. Thanks for saving me. I owe you one. I'm Dante, by the way. Nice to meet ya!”

  
Gilver gave him a curt nod. The man then tossed Dante his Rebellion along with his guns. “I am Gilver the devil hunter. Can you still fight? More will come.”

  
Dante stood up and then stumbled. His erection was getting painful. At any other time, he'd simply whip it out and take care of it, but he didn't want to give the demons a dangling target. “Shit, no.”

  
Gilver helped him up and gave him a small brown bottle. “Here, inhale this. This will help, but only temporarily. You've been poisoned.”

  
Dante inhaled, it was the same stuff as before that made him stop seeing the world as a technicolor candy land. It did help. His painful erection subsided, and he felt strength flow back into his limbs. He gave it back to Gilver with a grateful smile. “Thanks. I know I've been poisoned. I drank Bobby's special, the Shot To Hell. I was completely wasted before I got here.”

  
The man balked. “I meant the air in here. Its a potent aphrodisiac, and a muscle relaxer. Wait... You mean you drank that foul concoction that the Bull's Eye serves? I thought you were reckless before, but your actions delve into pure idiocy!”

  
Dante blinked. Gilver sighed. “That drink contains spinal fluid from a Hell Lust, a powerful hallucinogen and aphrodisiac, and then you walk into a demon's breeding pit. With your demonic blood, and your heightened libido, you are under the same spell as these other demons.”

  
Dante blinked again. He was starting to get aggravated. This guy really sounded like his brother. A clone like Trish? “I don't follow.”

  
Gilver explained rather briskly. “Salmon must swim up the river to mate at the risk of their own lives. Demons create this breeding pits to make more of their own kind, often at the cost of their own lives. If you don't mate, your own blood will turn against you, and kill you. If you are lucky your genitals will simply turn blue and fall off.”

  
Dante paled. “Shit! How can you be so damn calm at time like this! Shit! I gotta find Trish or Lady or that cute girl at the pizza place!”

  
Gilver snorted. “You are on the verge of releasing your devil. If you choose to mate with normal human in this state, you will most likely kill them. So I do not recommend anyone you are greatly attached to.”

  
Dante cursed. “Shit! I'm screwed! It's just as well, they'd just laugh, and kick my ass. They might even bring popcorn and watch for my future love life die. Can I just jack off?”

  
It was hard to tell what expression Gilver had under those bandages, but he seem bemused by Dante's situation. “You can try. I've seen other demons masturbate themselves to death in a vain attempt for relief. Who knows, you might be the first.”

  
Dante groaned. He was trying to think of another way, and that other way was looking at him through bandages. Gilver was most definitely not a normal human, and Dante doubted that he would be easy to kill even if Dante Devil Triggered. A demon that hunted demons, perhaps? Dante doubted Gilver wanted to kill him as he would have done so already. Dante knew then, and there that he was out of his mind for what he was about to ask. “So Gilver. I don't suppose you could, you know, help me? I know it seems sudden, and we just met, but...”

  
Dante could find the guts finish the sentence. When Dante looked at Gilver, his red eyes widened and looked at Dante with burning intensity, the most emotion that Dante has seen out of the strange man. “I will fullfill your request, if you will fullfill mine.”

  
Dante felt like leaping for joy. Perhaps more joy then he realized then he should feel for asking a man who dressed like a mummified Liberace for a booty call. “Yeah, anything!”

  
Dante cursed inwardly. His mouth opened again without approval from his brain. Gilver kept staring at Dante, and for some reason Dante was reminded of his brother from so long ago. Before Mallet Island, before Temen-Ni-Gru, those blissful days when all they had were each other. Gilver leant close to Dante. Dante could feel and smell him. It was so comfortable and familiar. He felt his body start to Devil Trigger and the sudden need to bite into this man's flesh. “Dante... I need...”

  
Dante swallowed, trying to keep himself under control. “Yeah?”

  
Gilver pulled away. “I need a place to stay. I will pay you whatever I have to spare each month. I also need clothes, as these are all I have.”

  
Oh. Dante blinked. Gilver just needed room and board, he was even willing to throw Dante some cash each month. It was reasonable enough, he even had a spare room from when Trish was living with him. Dante could use a new partner, especially one with demonic blood. The human partners didn't last very long. “So you want to be my roommate or my partner or something?”

  
Gilver shrugged. “All three preferably. Room and board is most important, but I will be happy if you are willing to take me in as your partner.”

  
The relief from whatever was in the bottle that Gilver gave him was starting to wane, and just when more demons showed up. “Shit. We talked too much. Well, partner, time to go earn your pay.”

  
The demons swarmed in and surrounded them on all sides. Dante and Gilver stood, back to back, ready to fight. A demon came toward Gilver, and he sliced it in two with his katana. Three more came toward Dante and filled them with bullet holes. Demons swarmed around them, Gilver sliced them with his Katana, and threw more purple bolts of energy. Dante charged toward them with his stinger, and howled in delight as more and more demons felled. Dante smirked at Gilver, “Not bad for a man who dresses like Liberace's Halloween party.”

  
Gilver sliced another demon and gave Dante the barest twitch of his lip. It looked like he was attempting to smile. “Pretty big words coming from a man wearing cowboy boots, ass-less straps, and little else. You the stripper Liberace hired for his party?”

  
Dante laughed. “Ouch! You burned me pretty good there!”

  
In the heat of the battle, Dante and Gilver glanced at one another and they shared a smile. The fought the swarm of demons together with perfect unity. Dante saw two demons coming up behind Gilver. He stepped in close to Gilver, their faces almost touching, and his arms around Gilver's head and shot the demon with Ebony and Ivory. The demons fell dead mere inches from Gilver's back. Dante smirked. “Got your back, dude.”

  
Gilver's arms shot out, and wrapped around Dante's waist, almost as if to pull Dante flush against his body. Dante heard the distinct fizzle of energy bolts. Dante glance behind him and saw two demons impaled by Gilver's purple energy bolts, they fell dead face flat on the floor. Gilver smirked. “Funny. I was about to say the same thing.”

  
Dante teased him. “My hero.”

  
It was impulsive, but that was what Dante did best. Here he was fighting back to back with a strange man named Gilver, horny as hell, high as fuck, and feeling inexplicably drawn to him. Dante crushed his lips against Gilver's lips in carnal bruising kiss. Gilver weaved his fingers in Dante's hair, and kissed him back. Their kiss was not remotely chaste, but rough, desperate, and sharp enough to draw blood. Just the way Dante liked it. As Dante was quickly finding out Gilver's personality was a bit on the cold side, but he was very warm underneath those bandages. They parted for breath, and Dante gasped out. “My place. Before I lose it here.”

  
Gilver's breathing was slightly heavier, and his deep red eyes burned. “Our place. Remember our agreement?”

  
Dante's head was swimming in lust and booze. All he wanted now was for Gilver to shut up and kiss him some more, and possibly fuck him. He didn't care which way it went. “Our place. Stop talking, more kissing.”

 


	3. Mission Three: Blind Date

 

The ride back to the Devil May Cry was a blur of lips, and wandering hands. Dante locked the front door and turned the sign to “Closed” in case Lady or Trish decided to come for a “Where's my money?!” visit. Dante gave Gilver a grin. “Well, here it is. Home, sweet, home. I gotta say that this date turning out rather well. First you save my honor, then you take me out dancing, give me some light conversation, and now you escort me home. You're quite the gentlemen. What shall we do next?”

  
Gilver's laugh was dry. “I recommend you give me the tour of your home.” His red eyes swept down to the obvious bulge in Dante's pants. “How about we start with your bedroom?”

  
Dante kissed Gilver deeply, a challenge considering that he was drunk, high, and had bandages to get past. Dante sucked on Gilver's lower lip, and breathed out, “Lets.”

  
Dante dragged Gilver to his bedroom, and clumsily wrestled out of his boots and pants. He sighed in relief when his erection was freed, but so was the thousands of dollars he had won from Bobby. Money fell out of his boots, and various pockets and fluttered onto his bed and floor. Gilver sighed. “Should we clean this up first?”

  
Dante grinned, having a rather perverse thought. Lady was going to take a good portion of this money later, he may as well give her some interest. “Nah, I got a better idea. Let's just do it on top of it. I'm usually too broke to appreciate having a pile of money laying around.”

  
Dante could swear Gilver had raised a brow. “Sounds rather unusual, but I will oblige you if you indulge in one of my kinks.”

Gilver took out a black scarf. “Wear this over your eyes, and under no circumstances are you to remove it until I say so.”

  
Dante eyed the scarf with a perverse gleam. “Kinky. I like it.”

  
Dante tied the blindfold on, and jumped onto the bed. He lay back, spread eagle, and naked. His erection jutted out for all to see. Dante could feel Gilver's hungry eyes on him though he could not see him. Dante laughed. “Like what you see, Gilver?”

  
Dante heard Gilver's voice hitch a fraction. “I do.”

  
Dante heard the rustle of cloth, and the sound of a zipper. The bed shifted as Dante felt Gilver move toward him. Suddenly Dante felt hands ghost over his skin, causing him to shiver. Dante reached out blindly, finding warm, smooth skin. Dante could not see Gilver with his eyes, but a picture was forming in his mind from what his hands, lips, and places his bare skin pressed against Gilver's were telling him. His face had handsome aristocratic features similar to his own. The man was as similarly well built as he was, and his skin had no flaws that he could feel, except a long vertical scar on his abdomen. Dante's wondered down south, and wondered how else they were similar. Gilver's breathing hitched as Dante's hand wrapped around his erection. “Dante!”

  
Dante grinned. “Well, what have we here?”

  
Dante continued stroking Gilver's shaft, his thumb massaging the underside. “Well, damn! We're even the same size too. Well don't be shy Gilver, touch me! I'm dying here!”

  
Gilver's hands shot out and grabbed Dante's erection. Dante threw his head back and moaned in ecstasy as he felt Gilver's hands working magic on his member. Gilver hands bore the callouses of a dedicated swordsman. “Gilver! You're really good at this! I should have known, seeing you the way you wielded that katana earlier.”

  
Gilver crushed his lips against Dante's with a bruising kiss, and whispered, “You talk too much.”

  
Gilver and Dante continued pumping each other's erections, until Dante threw his head back as he released himself completely. His skin morphed to hard scales, and claws. His seed spurted onto Gilver's hand and the bed. Dante panted, and regained some control of himself, releasing his devil trigger.

  
Dante then realized he was still hard. Gilver laughed drily. “We are just getting started, Dante. With the poison in your blood, your body will climax many times this night until it is fully sated.”

  
Gilver crushed his lips against Dante's, drawing blood. Dante felt his inner devil bubble beneath the surface, hungry for more. Dante felt Gilver's hot breath and wet mouth leave fiery trails on his skin. His lips drifted down from Dante's neck, to his collar, and sucked lightly on one of Dante's nipples. His mouth went down further, dipping his tongue into Dante's navel, causing him to gasp. This man knew just how to touch him, it was like he knew Dante's body as well as his own. Gilver's tongue went down further, and Dante's breathing was fast and heavy. Gilver's hot breath ghosted against Dante's member sent shudders down his spine. He wanted more. Gilver knew that too, and teased him. “Tell me what you want, Dante.”

  
Dante growled. “I want you.”

  
Gilver caressed the hard erection with his nose and cheek. “I know that, but what do want me to do?”

  
Dante was getting frustrated. “I want you to suck me! Stop being a cocktease!”

  
Gilver hummed thoughtfully, sounding eerily like Vergil. He like to be a tease, too. “Ask me nicely.”

  
Dante gritted his teeth, and bit out the words. “Suck me, please.”

  
Gilver laughed, it was definitely Vergil-like. “Very well, since you asked so nicely.”

  
Dante gasped as Gilver's hot, wet mouth wrapped around his straining length and sucked. Dante's hands gripped his sheets with an iron grip. He threw his head back, and cried out, “Fuck!”

  
Gilver's head bobbed up and down his length. His tongue swirled around the head, and he sucked hard on the underside, making Dante chant various obscenities. Dante could swear he felt Gilver smile as he was giving Dante the best blow job he's had in years. Dante chanted Gilver's name like a mantra as his mind slipped away in the tidal wave of pleasure. “Gilver! Gilver! Gil... Ver... Ver... Gil... Vergil!”

  
Finally Dante came again, and released his devil trigger. His claws sank into Gilver's hair, keeping his head in place. Gilver held down Dante's hips with demonic strength to keep him from bucking into his mouth. Dante sank back on the bed still devil triggered, his body limp and barely able to move, but still he craved more. His mind had completely given over to his devil, a savage hungry thing. His breath came out in short rapid pants, inhaling that familiar scent that enticed him so. The smell of Gilver's blood dominated his senses. He took his clawed hands in mouth and lapped up the sweet tasting blood. Dante wanted more of his blood. He wanted to bite into Gilver's flesh and taste him on his tongue. “More...”

  
Gilver's voice was rough. “And I will give you more.”

  
Dante heard a demonic roar and the sound of skin morphing to scales and claws. Dante felt Gilver's soft skin turn to hard carapace underneath his own. Gilver slammed Dante back down on the bed easily, and the wood groaned beneath their larger forms. Gilver grabbed Dante's thighs and spread them apart. Dante cried out when Gilver claws dug into his hard scaled flesh. Dante could feel his hot gaze on him. Then Dante felt a single clawed finger probing his entrance. Gilver laughed, his voice deeper. “I have waited so long to make love to you like this, Dante, like the devils we are. Doesn't it feel so much better like this than as humans? So much hotter, and wetter then with the frail flesh of humans.”

  
Dante blindly reached out to Gilver, his mind more beast than human. Gilver's words failed to penetrate the thick haze of lust in his mind. He roared. Biting blindly, searching for that one spot where he could leave his mark and claim him as his own. His fangs found flesh and delighted the in the taste of warm, familiar tasting blood. His claws felt around the flesh, feeling Gilver's own hand and his forearm that his teeth were sinking into. Gilver chided him. “Now, now Dante. If you want to claim me, you have to wait until the end. You always were so impatient.”

  
Gilver pushed Dante's head back into the bed, his teeth clamped onto his forearm, and positioned himself between Dante's legs. Gilver entered Dante with one swift thrust. A savage roar ripped from Dante's throat, as Gilver sank his fangs into Dante's neck. He let go of Gilver's forearm, and pulled Gilver tighter to him. Dante's fangs found Gilver's neck at last, causing the other man to groan, and bite down harder into Dante's flesh, refusing to let go. Gilver sped up his thrusts, his rhythm becoming desperate and erratic. Their guttural moans of pleasure were muffled by the other's flesh, and drunk off of the intoxicating taste of each other's blood. The room filled with the sounds of flesh slapping flesh and animalistic growls and grunts.

  
Dante felt the fire that burned and seared within him had finally found release. His fangs burned the flesh on Gilver's neck claiming him as Dante's and Dante's alone. Dante's seed came out in thick spurts, splattering their stomachs. Dante felt Gilver shudder above him, and screamed into his neck with his fangs still clamped firmly into Dante's neck. Dante felt Gilver's warm seed fill him, and demonic energy burning into his neck, completing the Demon's Kiss that marked Dante as his.

  
Dante let go of Gilver and collapsed onto the bed utterly exhausted, and satisfied. As sleep claimed him he barely felt Gilver's lips tenderly flutter against his. The Gilver's whisper was hazy, and barely penetrated his addled mind. “I love you, Dante, and I will never leave you again, my dearest brother...”

 


	4. Mission Four: Bittersweet Memories

Dante dreamed, no it was more like a memory of one of the most blissful years of his life after the death of his parents. He was only fourteen at the time and lived with his foster mother, Nell Goldstein. For about six years he lived with her since he was found a shivering, bloody mess by some local photographer named Antonio Redgrave and his son Lucas. He had no memory of who he was or how he got there. He called himself Tony Redgrave after the man who had found him, fed him, and took him to the police station. He had even found him a home with an old friend of his, Nell. She was one of the best gunsmiths around, even though he thought her to be older than Methuselah.

As Tony Redgrave, he lived in a sort of grey limbo. He was neither miserable nor was he completely happy, he just felt incomplete. Something was missing, and every time he looked into a mirror, that feeling only grew. He did not know why. Tony had nightmares of fire, blood, monsters, a woman screaming, and his reflection in shattered mirror. His only link to a past he did not remember was the amulet he had on when he was found, and engraved with two names: Vergil and Dante. It was his fourteenth birthday, or rather the day Nell took him in since he doesn't remember his real birthday, that he found that missing something.

Tony was running to get home from school, he was late again thanks to that asshole Chuck. Everyone made fun of him for his strange silver hair, "geezer" and "freak" were their favorite names for him. He bumped into woman, and fell flat on his ass. He glared up at the woman, who wore medical scrubs. "Ow! Watch where you're going!"

She looked at him with horror. "Oh dear god! Vergil! How did you get out?! I have to call the hospital! This is a disaster!"

Tony blinked in confusion. For some reason the name Vergil sounded familiar. "Vergil? Who's Vergil? Lady, I think you got me confused for someone else."

The woman glared at him. "I'm not mistaken, Vergil. I don't know how you escaped your room, but I'm taking you back to the hospital."

Tony was getting pissed, and was fishing his pocket for his wallet that had his school ID. "I'm not this Vergil! My name's Tony. Look, I'm going home, my old lady's is gonna be pissed enough as it is."

Tony shoved his school ID in the woman's face. She was now as confused as he was. "But how? You look just like him."

Tony shook his head, now as curious as she was. He wanted to know who this Vergil was, and why his heart kept racing. He let her take him to the hospital if she let him duck into one of his favorite pizza places to call Nell, and get him a pizza to go. Nell was pissed to be sure, and was worried as all he said was, he's at the hospital, and promptly hung up. The woman, who was a nurse, and who named he forgot, worked in the juvenile psychiatric ward.

Tony didn't like hospitals, and hated the chemical stench of the place. When he went to the psychiatric care floor, all the nurses and doctors stared at him, all of them making the same mistake as the woman. There was much talk, and confusion. Apparently Vergil was still restrained in his room for biting one of the nurses. It was after a lot of discussion, mostly Tony yelling at them that he was allowed to visit Vergil. Tony was his first visitor, apparently the guy had no family.

Tony felt an oppressive atmosphere here, despite the hospital's best effort to make the place feel welcoming. The nurse unlocked the heavy metal door and led Tony in. Tony gasped when his eyes locked with the other boy in the room, a boy who looked exactly like him. Around his neck was an amulet that matched Tony's. The boy was restrained on the bed, he looked at Tony as if he were his god. Tears streamed down his eyes. "Dante!"

Tony dropped to his knees and felt his head bursting with pain. Memories long repressed came bursting to the surface. He remembered everything. His name was Dante. His father was the legendary dark knight Sparda. His mother was a human woman of the Umbran Witches. His brother's name was Vergil, and he was alive.

Dante launched himself onto the bed and hugged his brother, who he thought had died that horrible night. Dante undid the restraints on the bed, to the horror of the nurses, warning that he as very wrapped his arms around Dante, and held onto Dante for dear life. Vergil sobbed into his shoulders, big fat tears streaming down his cheeks. Dante didn't know how long he stayed embracing his brother.

Nell had found her foster son at last, and was in utter shock at the sight of him embracing another boy who looked just like him. Dante looked up from his brother's shoulders, and smiled at Nell. "Hey old lady, my memories came back. My name's Dante, and this is my twin brother Vergil. Can he come home with us?"

Nell smiled back. "Of course, but you're still grounded."

 

* * *

 

 

It took almost a month of paperwork and legal issues before Vergil was released into Nell's care. Vergil was reclusive, and antisocial to the extreme, but over the years he had gotten better. He didn't talk much to others except to Dante, and refused to sleep anywhere but next to Dante. They slept in the same bed even now that they were sixteen. He started going to school, though not without a few incidents. The same assholes that teased Dante quickly learned that Vergil has very sharp teeth. Vergil was an outcast, just like Dante, but at least they were outcasts together.

They were in their favorite place in the woods, taking pot shots at beer bottles after they got tired of swinging their swords at each other. The day Dante remembered everything, he remembered his real birthday wasn't for another two months. Nell had been working on a pair of custom handguns for Dante, and the name he had gone by, Tony Redgrave engraved on them. She had wanted to give them when he came of age, but she figured now was a good time to learn how to use them. She believed in learning how to be self-reliant as soon as possible since the world was a dangerous place to live in.

Vergil took Dante to this place in the woods where he was living in after the death of their real mother and before police found him and threw him in the hospital. Vergil salvaged what he could from their old home, pictures, books, and most importantly their father's swords; Yamato and Rebellion. The treehouse Vergil had built still stood, and they used it as a secret hangout. Dante smirked as he and Vergil took another shot at two beer bottles, both of them hitting the bottles simultaneously with Ebony and Ivory. "Jackpot!" They shouted at the same time.

They grinned at one another, then Dante gloated. "My aim's getting better, isn't bro?"

Vergil rolled his eyes. "Too bad, your aim with a gun is not as good with your aim with the girls."

Dante sputtered angrily. "Hey! You've got no room to talk! You don't have a girlfriend either!"

Vergil looked offended. "What makes you think I even want one? They talk too much about inane things, and scream at the mere sight of a cockroach."

Dante hated the fact that Vergil was more popular with the girls, and yet the guy never went out with any of them. He made fun of Vergil for taking home-ec class, and still does, but he couldn't deny deep down that he was jealous of Vergil getting fawned over by girls with food. Dante snorted. "Since you don't like girls, about you find yourself a boyfriend to pull that tree out of your ass? Can't be that hard, doesn't that wife class teach you how to catch a man?"

Vergil looked coolly at Dante. "It taught me how make that pizza you ate last night. Someone has to feed you, since you're too much of an imbecile feed yourself. You managed to burn water."

Dante smirked. "Aww... I'm touched. You're taking wife class for me."

Suddenly an image of his brother playing as his wife popped into Dante's head. He could see Vergil dressed in a blue sundress, a bad wig, and high heels, and making him pizza. Imaginary Vergil in drag smiled and said, "Dante-honey! Dinners ready!"

Dante snorted, and laughed at the image. "I guess his name would have to change to Virginia if he's gonna wear the dress..."

Vergil raised an eyebrow at Dante. "What are you talking about? You know what, never mind, sometimes I don't want to know what goes on inside that head of yours."

Dante laughed harder. "I was just thinking of you being my wife."

Vergil dropped Ebony in shock. It was most expression Dante had ever seen from the human icicle in a long time. He loved that only he could get this wide range of emotion out of him. Dante kept laughing and noticed a pink color on Vergil's cheeks. Was he blushing? Dante leaned in close, his face barely an inch from Vergil's. Usually invading Vergil's personal space was equivalent to dangling your genitals in front of a starving lion, but Vergil didn't seem to feel like mauling Dante at the moment. Instead Vergil's cheeks turned redder.

Dante was close enough to kiss him. Dante froze as soon as the thought entered his brain, and opened a floodgate of thought about his brother that he didn't think about before. Like putting Vergil and the word sex in the same sentence. He knew his brother had the same equipment as him and used them in the same place as him: alone in the shower. Dante found out that Vergil jerked off into Dante's shampoo whenever Dante ever did anything to annoy him, which was just about every single day. It was just as well, since Dante jerked off into Vergil's conditioner whenever he acted like a prick, which was just about every single day.

Dante's heart raced as he thought of Vergil naked in the shower, and Dante felt his body doing things that they shouldn't. Dante shouldn't be getting hard at the though of his brother naked the shower, but he was. He shouldn't be kissing his brother either, but before he thought that he should run, he closed the distance between them. It was wrong to be kissing his brother, but it felt so right. Vergil should be punching him, but instead he pulled Dante closer and kissed him back. It was the sloppy kind of kiss of two teenagers who didn't know what they were doing. They parted for breath and Vergil asked with wide eyes, "Should we be doing this?"

Dante was panting. "Probably not, but it feels right."

Vergil tackled Dante to the ground and kissed him. Suddenly they were wearing too many clothes. Shirts, pants, every article of clothing lay scattered about the grass. Their hands wandered everywhere, and they rubbed their erections against each other, desperate and seeking release. It was the quick, hormone driven passion of teenagers. The lay side by side, as naked as the day they were born in the world together, and their stomachs plastered with their seed. Finally it was Vergil that broke the silent afterglow. "Dante... I think I'm in love with you."

Dante turned to regard his twin, and a warm smile bloomed on his face. "Good, cuz I think I'm in love with ya too!"

That day was a point of no return in their lives. No longer could they just be twins, or brothers. Now they were lovers as well. Dante had always begrudging shared his bed with Vergil for the sake of his twin's fragile sanity. Now he eagerly waited for bedtime, and locked their bedroom door. They both knew how the world outside would react to their love for each other. Dante feared that Vergil would be taken back the psychiatric ward if they were discovered, but they couldn't stop.

Vergil assumed that it was their devil blood that called to each other, since it was an act so unnatural to humans. Dante agreed with him for once, especially the night Vergil's devil blood had fully awakened. It was when they discovered how two men usually had sex, up until that point it they had been perfectly satisfied with their hands, and mouths. Dante won the coin toss for who would top, and he neglected to tell Vergil that it was a two-headed coin. Dante would never forget the feeling of being inside of Vergil, neither the heat that swallowed him whole nor the feeling of being so complete.

Vergil devil triggered for the first time while Dante was relentlessly ramming into him. It was startling at first, but Dante got used to it. In fact, he loved it. They discovered that sex while devil triggered, felt a lot better. For starters they didn't need lube, and there was nothing quite like the sensation of Vergil's fangs clamped into Dante's neck. They didn't know it at the time but Vergil had been giving him the Demon's Kiss.

It was pure bliss, but like all good things in Dante's life it didn't last. One night, while Nell was out, they forgot to lock their bedroom door. Vergil had devil triggered as was the usual now, and rode his brother's shaft with wild abandon. They thought Nell wouldn't be back for a few hours, and so they didn't bother to keep quiet. They didn't hear the bedroom door open nor did they hear Nell's gasp of horror. They did however hear the skill gunsmith's shotgun and scream of "Get off my son, demon!"

It all went to hell in a hand-basket. As Dante would look back many years after the incident, he found that he could not blame his brother for what happened. It wasn't until after Dante experienced the devil trigger for himself a year later on top of Temen-Ni-Gru that he began to understand his brother's actions that night. It wasn't Vergil's fault that lashed out at Nell, nor Nell's for shooting his brother with a shotgun, nor even his for not locking the damn door. It was no one's fault. Shit like this just happens. What was his fault was lashing out at his brother, and telling him the biggest lie he had ever told. "Murderer! You're just like the demons that killed mom! I hate you! I never want to see you again!"

Dante regretted those words, and still does to this day. A year after that night, Vergil raised the Temen-Ni-Gru to gain their father's power. Dante wondered what happened to his brother in the year they had separated. What caused Vergil to fall so far from grace? Why didn't Dante think to use the Kalina Ann to reel in Vergil like a harpooned narwhale to keep him from going to hell, and losing to Mundus? Would Dante have managed to save his brother, if he hadn't been the angry hot head? Dante wondered over and over what he could have done different, but in the end tried his best to forget. It was pointless to dwell in the past.

Now in the present he had other to think about. Like Lady, and Trish bleeding his wallet dry, Patty who ate all of his strawberry sundaes, and now the punk Nero. Dante wondered what his brother had been up to in the year they were separated, Nero was just the right age, but one problem. Sparda was long dead, Vergil hated women, and Dante, despite his flirty personality, didn't sleep around all too much. The Demon's Kiss that Vergil gave him prevented that, and that only started to fade after Mallet Island. So where the hell did the kid get Sparda's blood?


	5. Mission Five: Strange Mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos! As a St. Patty's day present here's a new chapter!

It was about the crack of noon when Dante woke up. The bright sun that filtered clearly through the window made his throbbing head feel like it got sat on by a giant lava spider. Wait did someone clean his window? Dante looked around with bleary vision and sure enough, his room was clean, but his bed looked like Hannibal Lecter, and Freddy Krueger had a wild night in it. The sheets were splattered with blood, cum, and a shit ton of money, most of which were glued to his naked body.

  
Dante wondered for a moment what the hell happened last night and blurry memories of last night came back to haunt him like truck stop sushi. He groaned, not just in pain, but at his own stupidity. “Jesus... Don't tell me... Oh god, I really did take a guy home, and one that dressed like a mummified Liberace. Christ... I'm never drinking again. Dear God, I can taste jizz and skittles in my mouth!”

  
Dante had taken home strangers before after going on a wild bender, but this one was by far his strangest hook up. He had taken home crazy women, a few succubi, and a mop, but never before did he take home any psycho gay mummies. Worse still was that he agreed to let his hook up stay longer than a night, and as a business partner to boot. Awkward wouldn't begin to cover it. From the looks of the clean floor, the last weird hook-up he brought home had been put to use, but the mop was nowhere to be seen.

  
The smell of coffee and bacon wafted into his room, and got him out of bed in a zombie like shuffle. He walked downstairs naked, save for the hundreds of dollars glued to his body with blood and semen. To his embarrassment, he saw his latest hook-up emerge from the kitchen. Gilver had ditched his frilly purple coat and was wearing some his clothes. A black shirt, black pants, and a navy blue vest he never wore anyway. His smug smirk was visible, even underneath those bandages. “Ah, so sleeping beauty awakens at last. I made you some coffee, and pancakes, but the bacon won't be done for another minute.”

  
Dante looked around in shock at the Devil May Cry. It was clean, and the fridge was full of actual food. Not just moldy pizza boxes and cheap beer. Wait, all his beer was gone. Dante was about to ask Gilver when the man beat him to the punch. “I got paid for last night's job, and did some cleaning. Did you know these premises smell like corn chips, and ass? If I am to stay here, it needed to smell like humans lived here instead of mushrooms. I also went shopping since all you had was moldy pizza, cheap beer, and what I assume to the best of my abilities to be a fossilized ketchup packet. I threw it all out.”

  
Dante saw red. “You threw out my beer?! What the hell, man?!”

  
Gilver glared, opened the fridge, and shoved a brown glass bottle into his hands. “I replaced your foul swill for something drinkable. With my own money, I might add.”

  
Dante blinked and looked at the label. It was one of those expensive organic imports that Dante was always too broke to afford. Dante put it back in the fridge, as much as he like beer with his cereal in the morning, right now just looking at it made his head throb. Gilver handed him a cup of merciful coffee. “Dante, your breakfast is on the table. Can you sit? I did ride you a little hard last night.”

  
Dante flushed, as vague memories of pleasure and the man in front of him ramming his ass floated to the surface. Dante for once, stayed silent. It was a weird feeling. When he sat down he felt grateful for his healing abilities, but he still felt a little sore. The weird feeling from before grew as he saw his breakfast. The pancakes were heart shaped, and had strips of bacon cooked in them in the shape of a heart. Dante didn't know whether to declare his undying love to Gilver or not. “Wow! Bacon pancakes! I hadn't had these in years!”

Dante grinned, “And they're heart-shaped, too. How romantic, I feel like the prettiest girl at the prom.”

  
Gilver rolled his eyes at Dante. “Don't read too much into it. They just happened to come out like that.”

  
Dante snorted. It looks like his new boyfriend was a bit of a tsundere. Dante's brain froze, the moment he thought the b-word. Shit. This was a conversation he had to have, and it was almost going to be as every bit of awkward the day Trish broke things off. She told him the Greek story of where the term Oedipus Complex came from. At least, Dante consoled himself, that his new live-in partner wasn't a clone of his mother. “Look, Gilver. I'm going to come out and say this. What do expect out of me? I suck at relationships, and I have more baggage than an airline. I make Hamlet look like teen comedy.”

  
Gilver gazed at him unblinkingly with those disturbing red eyes. “I'm not leaving. We had a deal. I stay here as your roommate, and assist you in your business. As for sex, I will take only what you freely offer. I too, as you say, 'suck at relationships'.”

  
Dante looked down at his breakfast. It was beyond awesome, more than anyone in his life, except for Nell, Vergil, and his mother did for him. Dante looked back up into Gilver's eyes, still staring at him. “So... Gilver. Are you going to be making a habit out of this?”

  
Gilver shrugged. “Well, since you're an imbecile that manages to burn even water, I suppose someone has to feed you. God knows the pizza delivery boy must have gotten rich off of you.”

  
Dante scratched his wonderfully smooth chin. “Well, Tony's put quite a squeeze on my wallet... Wait a goddamn minute! Where's my manly stubble?! I've been trying to grow a beard for years!”

  
Gilver shrugged a took a bite of his own breakfast. “I shaved it off. You looked like a bum, so I did you a favor.”

  
Dante didn't own a single shaving razor. “What did you use?”

  
Gilver held up his katana. “This did the job.”

  
A disturbing picture formed in Dante's head. “You mean to tell, that while I was out cold, you stood over my head with a fucking sword and shaved my stubble off?!”

  
Gilver ate his breakfast nonchalantly like shaving other men with swords while they were sleeping was perfectly normal. “I also used some of my moisturizer. Your skin looked like it needed it.”

  
Dante scrambled around the kitchen looking for a mirror, and found one of Trish's old make-up compacts. He lamented the loss of his manly stubble for moment. Why did he always attract the crazy ones? As he looked at his admittedly velvety smooth face, he noticed something on his neck. It was a fresh demon's mark. “Gilver?! What the hell is this on my neck?!”

  
Gilver sipped his coffee. “Its my mark. Your devil's blood would not have cooled down if I didn't give you one. I admit that the poison from the breeding pit affected me more than I thought, even with herbal solution I soaked my bandages in before taking the job.”

  
Dante stared horrified at the mark. Not only did he wake up with a new boyfriend, but with with a hellish version of wedding ring. Gilver laughed. “If it is any consolation, Dante...” Gilver slipped his gloved hands between the bandages on his neck, and pushed them aside. It was most of Gilver's he had seen, and it was barely two inches. There on pale greenish flesh was a Demon's Kiss. Dante stared at his own distinct mark on the man's neck. “You marked me as well.”

  
Gilver covered his pale greenish skin with the bandages. Dante wondered what Gilver hid under his bandages. From what Dante could tell, the guy was definitely not a normal human. “Okay. So Gilver, since we've gotten a marriage made in hell, care to let me know what you're hiding under those bandages?”

  
“No.” Gilver's answer was quick and sharp, like his blade.

  
Dante didn't like that answer. “Why not? We fucked, and now we're living together. I know you're not human, but your definitely not a run of the mill demon either. And why do you want to stay with me so bad?”

  
Gilver pondered for a moment. “I am a hybrid like yourself. To be quick, I was a prisoner in Agnus's lab. When you killed him, you freed me. I saw your battle against the abomination they called 'The Savior'. You were magnificent. A true son of Sparda.”

  
Dante blinked. He, and Nero discovered that Agnus made the Alto Angelo's from Vergil's remains. The stuttering bastard even kept his corpse somewhere to experiment on. Nero recovered Yamato and repaired the broken sword. Dante had so many questions, the main one being where his brother's body was. All they found were notes mentioning the remains of Nelo Angelo. Dante felt tears stinging his eyes. Nero was still in Fortuna, searching the ruins. The kid still hasn't found anything. “Gilver? If you've been in Agnus's lab then maybe you would know. Do you know where he kept the remains of a black armored demon called Nelo Angelo?”

  
Gilver closed his eyes, and shook his head. “I'm sorry. I do not know where Agnus kept it, but I do know what you speak of. The lab Angus kept it in was most likely destroyed by your battle against the Order many months ago.”

  
Dante hung his head. A single tear slid down his cheek. He wouldn't even get a body to bury. Dante felt warm bandaged hands lift his chin, and he was forced to look into Gilver's eyes. The other man gazed at him with such tenderness. “Dante, I know that armored demon meant something to you, but do not waste your tears on an empty shell that you may never find. Agnus called Nelo Angelo a son of Sparda, but I think it stopped being anything more than a puppet long before its death. Do not dwell on the dead, when the living still need you.”

  
Dante wiped his eyes, and really looked at Gilver. He knew the bandaged man knew more than he was letting on, but Dante could guess. The way he fought like Vergil, his demonic blood, and why he covered his face. Gilver was probably a normal man, and a member of the Order once. Dante was not an idiot. He saw what happened to the poor humans that Sanctus turned into demons. Poor Gilver was probably a good looking man before Agnus experimented on him. Sanctus's “Ascension Ceremony” probably had quite a few trial and errors. Dante wasn't one to pry into another man's business, but he couldn't leave it alone. “Gilver? If your gonna stay with me, answer me this; were you a member of The Order of the Sword in Fortuna?”

  
Gilver paused. “Yes, for a brief time.”

  
Dante nodded. “You were one of those idiots that got taken in by their shitty sermons, weren't you? I guess those bandages is to cover the ugly demon face you got from the Ascension Ceremony. Not what you wanted, was it?”

  
Gilver looked away. “Yes, I was an idiot seduced by the promise of power. I did you, the great Sparda, and many others a terrible wrong. Please do not pry into my past anymore. It is something I want to put behind me.”

  
Dante cupped Gilver's face, forcing him to look Dante in the eye. “So you fucked up, and want to make up for it. I get that, I really do, but tell me something, and be honest. Why do you want to stay here so bad?”

  
Gilver's crimson red eyes gazed intensely and unblinking into Dante's steely eyes. “Because I am in love with you.”

  
Dante felt that weird feeling again. It was a warm, sort of fuzzy feeling nestled in his chest. Dante finally recognized that weird feeling as happiness. He had not felt this since, those blissful days with Vergil. Dante decided what the hell could it hurt? He was already ass deep anyway. Here he was buck naked, with money glued to his ass with his blood and the semen of man who dressed like mummy and eating heart-shaped pancakes. So what if it was a bit weird, at least he was happy. “Fuck it. Hey Gilver, you wanna try the whole relationship schtick?”

  
Gilver's red eyes widened a fraction. “I suppose. As long as you don't label me with something puerile like your boyfriend.”

  
Dante rubbed his chin, and marveled at how soft it felt. He decided to let it slide this since his skin felt as smooth and velvety as Lady's ass. Speaking of which, the constant pounding on his door and sounded like Lady coming for one of those “Where's my money?!” visit. Dante grinned evilly. Lady would have her goddamned money.

  
Gilver was about to get it, when Dante stopped him. “Don't bother, its for me.”

  
Dante strode to the front door, and threw it open, feeling a breeze blow through the money glued to his nude body. Sure enough it was Lady, and she was staring, and for once at an utter loss for words. Dante beamed brightly at her, feeling strangely chipper. “Lady! What are you doing here? Is this about all that money I owe you?”

  
Lady's eyes where glued to the southern portions of his body. She stuttered. “I-I-I... Well I came here because I was worried. I saw that asshole Gilver walking in here with a large paper bag and wearing your clothes and I was worried. Dear God, Dante! What happened to you? You're neck! You've been marked by a demon! Did he do this? Oh god... Was it the Silken Sin job? Look I gave that job to Trish and-”

  
Dante cut her off with a finger to her lips, and a smug grin. “It okay, babe. I'm flattered by your feelings for me, but I'm a taken man now.”

  
Lady snapped at his finger like a gator. “I don't have any fucking feelings, you bastard!” Her anger evaporated when what Dante said finally processed. “Wait, did you say you're a taken man? What on Earth did you bring home this time? Is a broom to go with that mop you proposed to once?”

  
Dante's smile grew wider. “Nope. You've met him, already. Gilver's my new...” Dante paused. “He said not boyfriend. Lover, maybe? Whatever he is, he's amazing in bed.”

  
Lady grimaced. “You slept with Gilver?”

  
Danted nodded. “Yup, and it was awesome! I came like dump truck last night! Three times in fact! That man's got some talented hands, and amazing endurance!”

  
Dante and Lady jumped when Gilver seemed have popped out of nowhere. “Are you going to invite her in for coffee or show off your genitals to the entire neighborhood?”

  
Lady pulled a gun and pointed it at Gilver's head. “What did you do to my friend, demon?!”

  
Gilver pushed her gun out of his face with a single finger. “There is no need to be rude. Tell me, were you aware that Dante went to a breeding pit after drinking that foul poison that the Bull's Eye served? Dante almost got himself killed. If I hadn't been there, he would have been raped and killed by demons. I satisfied his devil's drive to mate, and mark me in exchange for room and board. Dante found the arrangement to be... very agreeable.”

  
Lady put her gun away, feeling a little guilty, but she still glared at Gilver. “My apologies.”

  
Lady turned to Dante. “Since you seem to be doing so well, how about the money you owe me?”

  
Dante grinned, and peeled a Ben Franklin off of his ass cheek. He smoothed it out and presented it to Lady with a shit eating smile. “Here ya go, Lady. Keep the change.”

  
Lady looked like she was about to vomit. “Eww! I'm not taking your dirty money! Oh dear god is that semen?!”

  
Dante nodded. “Yeah. Probably Gilver's since I peeled it off of my ass. You need more money? I've got a hundred and fifty stuck to my balls that you can have.”

  
Lady growled, and put on a pair of leather gloves with an audible snap. “Fine. You asked for it.”

  
Dante howled in pain as Lady ripped off several hundred dollars off of his privates like a bandaid. Dante crumpled to the floor. “Jesus, Lady! That fucking hurt!”

  
Lady ripped off several twenties off of his thighs, making him scream again. “Pleasure doing business, Dante. I'll catch you later.”  
Lady skipped off, humming and counting Dante's dirty money. Gilver sighed, and helped Dante up. “I see you have quite the way with the ladies.”

  
Dante growled at him. “Shut up! Damn, I need a shower. I'm taking the day off. Any calls are yours.”

  
Gilver inclined his head. “Of course... lover.”

  
Dante stumbled a little going upstairs. He wondered if he was ever going to get used to this. Probably not, but at least it wouldn't get dull around here.

 


	6. Mission Six: Devil Sundae

It had been a month since Gilver started living at the Devil May Cry. It was a little weird at first for Dante, but he found it very surprising how quickly he got used to Gilver's presence. He didn't think living with a psychopath who dressed like a mummy would be so comfortable, but it was. When they went out on jobs together, they fought in perfect unison, like they were made to be a duo. Gilver cooks for him, helps him with the bills, and kept the place clean. Dante couldn't remember feeling so happy or so domestic in many years. Gilver was antisocial, sometimes creepy, but he was the greatest partner he ever had.

Dante still didn't know any more of Gilver's past, nor even what he looked like underneath the bandages. Gilver always insisted on the blindfold when they had sex, and he slept in his own room with the door locked. Though Dante once caught a glimpse of the man's hand, his skin was pale green with very prominent blue veins. Dante asked Gilver if his skin condition was sexually transmitted. Dante got a dirty glare, and an icy no. Dante guessed that the guy was sensitive about his looks, especially since the poor guy was Agnus's lab rat, so he let it be. Who cared what a guy looked like if he was a sex demon in bed, and made awesome sandwiches afterwards? Dante was very comfortable with their relationship, though the same could not be said for all of his friends.

Lady tolerated the mummy's presence, since Dante wasn't getting rid of him, and he was a damn decent cook. Lady was relieved to have break from pizza. Trish however felt nervous around him, and it didn't help that Gilver kept glaring at her. Dante hoped that some of Fredi's strawberry sundae's would melt the ice. Ice cream fixes everything, usually. Dante would've picked the Bull's Eye, but after the Shot To Hell incident, Gilver banned anything stronger than beer.

Dante, and Gilver walked into Fredi's. Dante waved to Lady, and Trish, and plopped right down at the booth. Lady and Trish smiled warmly for Dante, but their greetings for Gilver were cold, and forced. The feeling was mutual. Dante wished that Fredi served something harder than milkshakes. Dante elbowed Gilver. "Why couldn't we meet at the Bull's Eye again? We are in serious need of some social lubricant."

Gilver looked at Dante acidly. "Why do you insist on drinking heavily? I thought you learned your lesson after you drank Bobby's Shot To Hell? Do I need to remind you of the state I found you in that demon infested gentleman's club? You were dressed like a male stripper, and about to have you anal cavity explored by a demon the size of a German Panzer tank."

Lady and Trish snorted, and broke down laughing. Dante sank a little in his seat, with his cheeks turning the same color as his coat. "Did you have to mention that night in front of the girls?"

Gilver's reply was stoic, and without remorse. "Yes, because you're an imbecile that needs to be reminded of his limitations. Someone has to keep you in line."

Dante glared at Gilver. "What are you, my mom?"

Gilver snorted. "No, I'm your partner. If you want someone to be your mommy, go somewhere else. I'm not that kinky."

Trish giggled, and snorted. "Pffft! Okay, Gilver, you're alright! Dante, I officially approve of this guy!"

The waitress came to their table, a fairly pretty woman with mousy hair, and flashy jewelry. She gave Dante a big smile. "Hi Dante! It's been awhile! Why don't you stop by and see me anymore?"

Dante grinned flirtatiously. "Its been pretty busy Cindy, but you know I can't stay away from you or those sweet goods of yours!"

Gilver could be heard gritting his teeth and giving Cindy the waitress a death glare. Cindy stepped back uncomfortable from the murderous aura rolling off of Gilver, a man that looked like a serial killer. "Umm, so who's your friend, Dante?"

Dante put his arm around Gilver. "This here is Gilver, my partner!"

Gilver didn't take his eyes off the waitress. "Both in business, and in bed. Keep in that overly bedecked head of yours that Dante is a taken man. I do not share."

Cindy's mouth hung open. Dante cut in, hoping to keep Gilver from blowing up. "Yes, he really is my lover. Hard to believe, but there it is. Why don't you get a Lover's Sundae for me, and Gilver to split?"

Cindy stared at Gilver and Dante, but took everyone's orders and walked awkwardly away. Dante glared at Gilver. "What was that about?! You didn't need to rip Cindy's head off!"

Gilver crossed his arms and brooded. "I didn't rip Cindy's head off, I merely declared my territory. If I intended to rip her head off I would have dragged her outside first for easier clean up."

Lady snorted. "Well, well, Dante. Looks like you've got the possessive type. If I were you, I'd stop going to Love Planet if you want to keep your head on your shoulders."

Gilver glared at Dante. "Love Planet?"

Dante threw his hands up in defense. "Hey! I don't go there anymore! And you don't need to feel so jealous over other girls! I'm all yours now, remember? We're trying the whole relationship thing." Dante pulled his collar down, showing the mark Gilver left on his neck.

Pacified, Gilver relaxed. "Very well. I shall try to restrain my jealousy in the future."

Dante smiled. "Good! Now that we're all friends, maybe we can be nicer to each other. Gilver, no slicing up the girls. Girls, don't shoot Gilver."

Gilver, Lady, and Trish shared a look. Gilver broke the silence. "Did you two sleep with Dante?"

Dante shrunk down into his seat, not liking where this conversation is going. Lady looked insulted. "Never in a million years! That pizza freak is all yours Gilver, you have my sympathy and my blessings!"

Trish groaned. "Yes, unfortunately. It didn't last long, only a few months. We had problems in bed."

Dante really didn't like the level of hell that this conversation was headed too. "Woah, girls, no need to talk about past relationships. Gilver, I'm sure you have an ex... something that you don't want to talk about. Hey! Here comes Cindy with our ice cream! You are an angel, Cindy!"

Cindy put there orders on the table, and slunk away quickly, giving Dante a pitying look as she left. Dante drooled at the sight of the enormous mountain of ice cream that was set before him, and Gilver. It was in a large heart shaped bowl, topped with a single perfect strawberry. Dante had never considered himself a religious man, but he thanked God, and whoever invented ice cream for saving him from what would be one of the most awkward conversations of his life. Dante happily started gorging himself, and Gilver tentatively joined Dante. Gilver stared hard at Dante, then looked away. If it weren't for the bandages, Dante would've been certain that the guy was blushing. "I have had no other lover than you, Dante."

Dante blinked, and dropped his spoon. He had never been anyone's first before, well just Vergil, but that was a Pandora's Box that he wanted to keep closed. Dante probably should've figured with the guy's glacial personality, and his serial-killer habits. Normal guys didn't keep their virginity this long. Okay, Dante wasn't sure about Gilver's age, but for some reason he knew that they were the same age. Dante was Gilver's first. It felt surreal, and for some reason made Dante rather happy that he was the only to get sweaty, and naked with this weirdly wonderful guy.

Trish decided popped Dante's happy bubble. "I'm so sorry Gilver that your first had to be this asshole. You know those problems in bed I mentioned?"

Dante frantically waved his hands, silently pleading to Trish, and praying to god that she kept silent. Gilver cocked his head. "Do tell."

Trish glared at Dante. "He sometimes called me mom when we had sex."

Dante groaned and hit his head on the table. Apparently God remembered that he was a half demon. 'At least it can't get any worse,' Dante thought to himself. Unfortunately God didn't feel like going easy on him today. A familiar feminine voice piped up from behind him. "Eww! Really Dante? Just when I thought you couldn't get anymore disgusting!"

Dante turned, and saw Patty staring at him like that stain on a roach motel bed that you aren't sure if it's semen or piss. Apparently some up there hated really him. Patty was a full grown pain in his ass nowadays, but at least one that cleaned his place once in awhile. Even if she did eat him out of home, and ice cream. "Hello to you too, Patty."

Patty smiled, "Hi, Dante! Oh! Ice cream!"

Dante growled. "Hey! Wait a damn min-"

Dante was cut off when Patty butted Dante over to sit next to him. Gilver wasn't happy being squished against the window. Patty took Dante's spoon, and was about to dig in when Gilver's spoon parried hers. He glared at with murderous intent in his blood red eyes. "I warn you once, little girl. If you take what is mine you will learn what the edge of my sword feels like."

Patty fell out of the booth with a frightened squeak. "Eeek! Dante! There's a demon mummy sitting next you!"

Lady and Trish giggled, and Lady answered Patty. "That's just Gilver, Dante's new boytoy."

Trish smirked. "Boytoy? I'd say he's more like Dante's wife they way he's got Dante henpecked."

Dante growled. "Yeah, well, at least he's not sucking me dry! Well... it's not my wallet he's been sucking dry at least."

The girls grimaced, and Lady held up her hand. "TMI, Dante! We didn't need to know that!"

Patty stuck her tongue out. "Seriously Dante, that's disgusting!"

Dante stuck his tongue out back at Patty. "Wait til you get a boyfriend, it won't be so disgusting then!"

Patty shuddered. "Eww! I'm never doing that! If a man ever ask me to do that, I'd shoot his balls off! Just like Lady, and Trish taught me!"

Lady, and Trish looked at Patty proudly. They had trained Patty well. Dante shuddered at the mini Lady that Patty was growing into. Gilver rolled his eyes, and muttered under his breath, "And Dante wondered why I don't like women..."

Dante glanced at Gilver with a sympathetic look. Dante was starting to see Gilver's point. Dante had always loved women, but sometimes they drove him up the wall, and out the window. Women that he brought into his bed never stayed very long. Even Trish didn't stay long, and as much as he hated to admit it she was right. Dante was searching for a mother in her that was long dead. Dante suddenly became aware that the only relationships in his life that he felt any real passion, and emotional connection to were people that reminded him of the family he lost.

The realization hit Dante like a ton of bricks. Vergil was own brother. Trish was a clone of his mother. Gilver was, Dante was convinced, a clone of Vergil created by Agnus. All the relationships that were the least bit meaningful to him were downright incestuous. It was as incestuous as it could get with Vergil. Dante grabbed fistfuls of his hair, and roared, "WHY AM I SO FUCKED UP?!"

The whole diner fell silent, and stared at him with mouths hung open. Then a woman screamed, "Monster!" Then the majority of the diner cleared out. Dante blinked and looked around the now empty diner. "What's their problem?"

Gilver grabbed Dante by the arm. "We need to leave." He turned to the girls, who were staring at Dante with worry, and fear. "Don't worry, I'll take Dante straight home. Meet us later at the Devil May Cry."

Gilver started dragging Dante, who started to protest. "Hey! Wait a god damn min-"

Dante stopped resisting Gilver when he saw his hands had turned to demonic claws. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass window. He was halfway devil triggered. Glowing red eyes, horns, sharp fangs, and half his face was covered in blood red and pitch black scales. He looked like a living nightmare. No wonder people freaked.

oOo

Gilver dragged Dante into the Devil May Cry, and locked the door behind them. Gilver had gotten them there quickly using multiple air tricks going rooftop to rooftop to avoid people. Dante clutched at his chest, the anxious feeling in his chest only intensified as Gilver held him close as he teleported them.

Dante stared at the mysterious bandaged man who always stared back at him with intense crimson eyes. He wondered, not for the first time, what was underneath those bandages. 'Is he a clone of my brother created by the order? Is that why he won't let me see his face?' Dante's heart clenched as he finally faced an ugly truth he had been ignoring since he met the man. 'Maybe he won't let me see his face because it is the same as mine. If he is a clone of my brother, perhaps he kept it covered to avoid being mistaken for my brother. Oh God! That's what's been attracting me to him! Its because he reminds me of Vergil! This like Trish all over again except worse! I'm fucking a man because he reminds me of my brother I used to fuck! Dear God what is wrong with me?!'

Gilver gently cupped Dante's face. "What is wrong Dante? You wouldn't trigger in public like that if something wasn't truly bothering you."

Dante's heart broke at Gilver's uncharacteristic gentleness and open show of affection. He didn't deserve this man's love. Dante is still in love with his dead brother, and he was using Gilver as a replacement. Dante swallowed, he had to tell the poor guy the truth. "Gilver, I'm sorry. Trish and Patty are right. I'm a pretty fucked up guy. I keep going for people who remind me of dead family members. Trish looked like my mom, and you... well you remind me of my brother."

Gilver cocked his head, almost looking amused. "You mean Vergil?"

Dante snapped his head up so fast, he feared he might have snapped something. "How do you know his name?!"

Gilver laugh, and leaned in so close their lips almost connected. Dante could feel the other man's breath caress his skin as he spoke. "I know because you sometimes call his name out when I make love to you."

Dante's eyes widened. "Oh God, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-"

Gilver cut Dante off with a bruising kiss. It was carnal, and demanding, making no room for argument or resistance. He pushed Dante against his desk. Gilver's crimson eyes bore into Dante's. "I don't care if you call me Vergil or Gilver." Gilver leaned closer, and whispered into Dante's ear, "What matters is that I'm the only one that can make you writhe, and scream out in pleasure."

Then Gilver took Dante's earlobe between his lips and sucked on it, making Dante moan. Gilver's bandaged hands nimbly undid Dante's belt buckle, and zipped down his pants. Dante gasped as the other man's hand dove in, and grasped his growing member. Gilver licked Dante's neck and whispered, "Turn around, and bend over."

Dante nodded mindlessly, and bent over his own desk, proudly presenting his bare ass for the other man. He heard Gilver zip down his pants, and the familiar crackling sound of him devil triggering. Then Dante saw two large claws with armor like blue scales next to his own red scaled claws. When Dante looked up at the wall behind his desk in front of him he saw a frighteningly familiar shadow: the shadow of Nelo Angelo. He could never in his life forget that form. 'Vergil? It can't be... can it?' Dante's thoughts ceased as he felt Gilver swiftly enter him.

Gilver pulled out and mercilessly thrust back into Dante, making him cry out. Gilver's hot breath kissed his ear. "Go ahead, Dante. Call me Vergil. It makes no difference to me what name you call out. It is I who is fucking you, no one else."

Dante laughed, even as Gilver had him pinned down against his own desk and was ramming into him with great force. "That's pretty fucked up, man."

Gilver laughed. "If you were more perceptive, Dante, you would notice that I'm a pretty fucked up guy."

Dante grinned. "Then we can be fucked up together! Now fuck me faster, Vergil!"

Gilver roared, and picked up his pace. His claws dug into the wood of Dante's desk, leaving marks that Dante would never be able to get rid of, nor did he want to. The Devil May Cry was filled with the sounds of heavy panting, and flesh slapping against flesh. Gilver rammed into Dante over and over again with great force, hitting that spot inside Dante that made him beg for more. Dante soon climaxed, screaming out Vergil's name as he spilled his seed all over his desk.

Gilver's pace quickened as he got closer to climaxing. With a final thrust he spilled his seed into Dante, and sank his fang's into Dante's neck, deepening his mark. Dante collapsed against the desk, completely limp from pleasure. They stayed like that for a little while longer. Dante pinned onto his desk by Gilver's weight with Gilver's fangs still in his neck, and his cock buried to the hilt in his ass. It was pure bliss.

Dante felt Gilver's erection fade, and he pulled out with a wet sounding pop, but his warm heavy weight still enveloped Dante. Gilver gently licked the mark on his neck, and whispered four words that Dante never thought would be spoken to him with such sincerity; "I love you, Dante."

Dante shivered and felt tears stinging his eyes, but he would not let them fall. Gilver had said the big L-word many times, but for the first time since Vergil, Dante wanted to say, "I love you, too." But the words got stuck in his throat, only coming out as a croak.

Dante tried turn to look at Gilver, only for the other man, or devil, to pin him against the desk. Gilver's voice was still gentle, but it had a razor edge to it. "I hide my face for a reason, Dante. If you see my true face then this beautiful illusion will end."

Gilver placed a kiss on the bloody mark on Dante's neck. Dante looked at the shadow on the wall that looked exactly like Nelo Angelo. Dante's desire to see Gilver's face grew. Would he see Vergil or something else? Before Dante could try to sneak another peek, Gilver disappeared, and Dante heard the other man's bedroom door open and slam shut. Dante felt Gilver's absence, as the heat of their previous activities disappeared. Dante shivered, and felt something grow heavy in the pit of his heart. He feared what he would see if he were to unwrap the truth of Gilver, but still he felt an unyielding obsession to know begin to claw at him. Who was Gilver?


	7. Mission Seven: Unwrapping The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this chapter a little late because of final exams, which I am still not done with. I do apologize for that. I had planned on posting this after the finals insanity was done, but I decided to post it now anyway. Someone finally caught on that Gilver is an anagram, so kudos to you Fandom_Enforcer! Here's your prize: a new chapter posted slighter earlier than planned!

 

Mission Seven

Unwrapping The Truth

 

It had been a month since the incident at the diner that was followed by one of the best fucks Dante ever had. Who knew being taken mercilessly over his desk could be so fun? It also the marked the beginning of a silent game between Dante and Gilver. Dante called it: Unwrapping Gilver. Dante tried various methods to see Gilver without those bandages. Dante tried his best to be sneaky, but Gilver, the bastard, was even better.

  
Dante would often try to sneak into the bathroom while Gilver was showering only to find that the ass had teleported away when Dante pulled the shower curtain. Dante had tried sneaking into the guy's bedroom when he was sleeping, but Gilver always somehow anticipated Dante and put decoy pillows in his bed. Dante had tried removing his blindfold once when they had sex, but it ended up with Gilver teleporting away, and leaving Dante alone with hard on as punishment. Dante never did that again. It was as frustrating as it was fun. Dante never had an opponent this cunning for a very long time.

  
Gilver had been living with Dante for about two months now, which was getting close to braking a new record. Trish had only lived with him for three months before they broke up. Gilver showed no signs of leaving him anytime soon despite the fact that they argue all the time, but it was the fun kind of arguing. The only thing that Dante felt a true division between them, was the argument that was never spoken aloud: Gilver's true face.

  
Dante was still haunted by Gilver's words, “...If you see my true face then this beautiful illusion will end.” Dante went over it in his head multiple times. He knew with every fiber of his being that Gilver had some connection to his brother. There were too many similarities; from the way the man fought, talked, smelled, hell, even the way he acted batshit crazy around strangers was so Vergil-like. If Dante didn't know with absolute certainty of his brother's demise, he would say without a shadow of a doubt that Gilver was indeed Vergil. But Vergil was dead, and Gilver is kind.

  
Dante hired the kid, Nero, to keep poking around Fortuna City for any traces of Agnus's research or Vergil. Dante wanted to know what Gilver was to Vergil. Was he a clone or Vergil resurrected? Dante didn't want to get up the hope that his brother was somehow alive, and wanted to be with him. Lady Luck was never that nice to him, Lady Luck was a stone cold bitch. With Dante's usual luck, he would somehow fuck things up with Gilver, or Gilver'll end up being really goddamn ugly under those bandages.

  
Dante sighed. It would probably explain why Gilver was so possessive and jealous, especially around women. The guy was probably ugly as sin, and never thought he'd attract anyone as good-looking as Dante. Gilver had nothing to worry about. Even if he was really goddamn ugly under those bandages, Dante wasn't going to kick him to the curb. He made a deal with the guy, and Dante never welches on deals. Even if Gilver has the kind of face that instantly withers erections. That was what tequila, and paper bags were invented for.

  
So Gilver didn't need to get on his ass every damn time he so much as looked at a girl. He couldn't flirt with that cute girl at the pizza place or at Fredi's diner, not if wanted to keep certain parts intact. To be honest, Dante found it rather cute at how jealous Gilver got. With the strength of his devil blood nowadays it wasn't like Dante could sleep with normal women anymore anyway. All he did was just look. There wasn't any crime in just looking was there?

  
Speaking of looking at normal women... Dante was reading his last Playboy that Gilver had yet to find when Nero burst through the Devil May Cry's door. The kid sauntered up to his desk with a smile, and looking like he was trying not to laugh his ass off. “Hey old man! I heard the funniest thing from Lady! She says that you've got one weird ass boyfriend. Some kind of mummy. I knew you were old, but I thought you could do better than King Tut!”

  
Dante looked up from his reading to glare at Nero. “His name is Gilver, and he's upstairs doing only God knows what in his room. I would keep it down.”

  
Nero's eyebrows rose, threatening to invade his hairline. “You're pulling my leg, right? I've always pegged you to be a ladies man. You're reading a Playboy for crying out loud!”

  
The door to Gilver's room opened, and Gilver suddenly appeared behind Dante. Nero stumbled backwards and fell on his ass. Gilver snatched the Playboy from Dante's hand, and looked at dirty magazine with disdain. “Hmm...I missed one.”

  
Dante was pissed. “God dammit Gilver! That's my last one!”

  
Gilver said nothing, and simply glared at Dante. Dante backed away. “Come on Gilver. I wasn't looking at other women, I was just reading the articles!”

  
Gilver flipped through the magazine and ripped out every page that had text, and no pictures. He then handed the boobless pages back to Dante. “Here you go then. Just the articles.”

  
Gilver's crimson eyes slid over to Nero who was looking at Gilver like he'd never seen a talking mummy before. Gilver's eyes had widened, and his voice trembled. “Dante... Who is this?”

  
Nero swallowed. “Uh... My name is Nero, sir. I guess Lady was right. So, you and Dante are actually _dating_? Still kind of hard to wrap my mind around... Sorry! I didn't mean wrap... I uh meant... um...”

  
Gilver held up a hand, and smiled warmly at Nero. Dante didn't know Gilver could be that warm with anyone other than himself. “It is quite alright, child. My bandages do draw quite a bit of attention, but they do serve a purpose in covering a face I do not wish people to see. It is most unsightly. I wish Dante had told me you were coming, or I would have made something special for lunch.”

  
Dante bit out defensively. “Hey, I didn't know either! The kid busts my door down without any warning, like everybody- Achoo!”

  
Dante sneezed, and suddenly devil triggered. “Oh god, not again!”

  
Nero backed away by Dante's sudden devil trigger. “You okay old man?”

  
Dante changed back to normal. “Yeah I'm fine. Just some weird stomach bug. I've been puking and moody as hell. I've also been devil triggering at random in public. Just last month I cleared Fredi's Diner when I lost my cool, and sprouted horns. I never thought there could be something worse than popping a boner in public, but apparently there is.”

  
Gilver sighed. “I keep telling him that he should get himself checked out. I've been trying to keep him on a strict diet. No alcohol.”

  
Dante growled. “And I keep telling you that I'm fine! Besides, human doctors are useless for devil problems! Now give me back my boobs and beer!”

  
Gilver glared at Dante and then glanced at Nero who was looking awkwardly between the two. “Now, now, Dante. Let's not argue in front of the child.”

  
Nero seemed have quickly recovered from Gilver's startling appearance. “I'm not a kid, so quit talking like you're my mummy!”

  
Dante expected Gilver to threaten Nero or give him one of his patented death glares. Instead Gilver looked down at Nero sadly. Dante had never seen Gilver look so heartbroken. “No... I suppose I'm not. Forgive me.”

  
Gilver disappeared back to his room. Dante heard the door shut and click as the lock slid into place. Dante was startled. He had never seen Gilver act like this. Normally the man was colder than a witch's tit at times, with only flickers of warmth when they were alone. “What the hell just happened?”

  
Nero shrugged his shoulders. “Your boyfriend always this moody?”

  
Dante shook his head. “No, never. Normally the guy can give the arctic lessons in freezing people's balls off. So, kid, what'd you come here for?”

  
Nero held out a manila folder with several pictures, and research notes. “Well, I've got some good news. I found what you were looking for. This was Agnus's secret lab where he kept the remains of Nelo Angelo. Apparently the stuttering asshole made several attempts at reviving him.”

  
Dante looked up at Nero in shock. “Did he succeed?!”

  
Nero nodded. “Yeah. He did. That's how he made the the Alto Angelos, by using Nelo Angelo like a living battery. Dante, you said that this guy was your brother, Vergil, right?”

  
Dante buried his face in his hands. His brother had been revived, only to be used as a tool by another heartless demon. “Vergil is alive?”

  
Nero felt a little awkward at comforting people, but attempted it anyway. He patted Dante's shoulder. “Well, I don't know. Look, man. Just let me finish.”

  
Nero fished for one of the pictures and handed it to Dante. It was an elaborate glass containment chamber similar to what Agnus kept the broken pieces of Yamato. The chamber was broken from the inside, meaning whatever was in it, got out. “This where Agnus kept your brother for about two years. He fished the body, along with Yamato's pieces from where Mallet Island once was. Sanctus immediately used the majority of the Order's resources to revive your brother, and they succeeded after only three months of around the clock work. According the notes, your brother reacted violently to their plans to use him in The Savior, and were forced to keep him imprisoned. From the looks of the condition of the lab and the containment chamber your brother was in, he escaped his prison shortly after you came to Fortuna, and kicked a lotta ass.”

  
Dante's hand trembled with shock as he held the picture of his brother's prison. His brother had been brought back from the dead, and he was currently out in the world somewhere. Dante's mind was bombarded with thousands thoughts as pieces of an enormous puzzle fell into place. Gilver showed up in town after his battle in Fortuna, and no one has ever seen his face. Gilver said Agnus kept him imprisoned in his lab. Gilver fought like Vergil. He cooked like Vergil. He sounded like Vergil. He made love to him like Vergil, but the most damning evidence of all were the mountains of Gatsby hair wax taking up the majority of his bathroom. Dante only knew one other prick that used that shit. Gilver. Gil Ver. Ver Gil. Dante jumped out of his chair. “HOLY SHIT!”

  
Dante shook Nero, his eyes as wide as saucers. “Holy fuck, kid! Do you know what this means?!”

  
Nero shook his head, honestly starting to become scared of the older man. Dante fished a twenty out of his pocket and shoved it in the kid's face. “Go to Tony's and go order my usual. Take your time. Me and Gilver need to have a long heart to heart alone. Thank you so much, Nero. You've no idea how much this means to me.”

  
Nero looked at the door to Gilver's room before walking toward the front door. “You're welcome old man. Tell you boyfriend that I'm sorry for the mummy joke.”

  
Dante walked upstairs, and stood in front of Gilver's bedroom door. He hadn't felt this shaken in many years. Not since he was a kid. The bedroom door suddenly resembled a great black monolith that towered over him. He knocked meekly on the door, almost afraid of what lay on the other side. Gilver's voice was muffled by the door. “Come in, Dante.”

  
The door clicked loudly as Gilver unlocked it. Dante swallowed and opened the door. Gilver's room was dark. The window curtains were drawn, blocking almost all light from enter. His room was normally kept neat and spartan, but on the floor were a pile of bandages. Dante flipped a light switch only to discover that it didn't work. He saw Gilver sitting on his bed with a blanket draped over him. Gilver's voice was barely above a whisper. “I heard your conversation with Nero. Did you find your brother?”

  
Dante stared hard at Gilver's unseen form, hidden by a thin dark sheet. “Yes, I did.”

  
Both of them stayed silent, the only sound that could be heard is the distant blare of the world outside. Dante closed the door behind him making the silence heavier, and the room grow darker. Dante pulled a curtain aside to let light in, for all there was outside. It looked like rain. Gilver shuffled further back into the shadows. Dante broke their silence. “Tell me why.”

  
Gilver's reply was quiet. “Why what?”

  
Dante walked forward toward Gilver. The other man flinched visibly under the blanket he hid under. Dante stopped, and stood on the edge of the bed. Dante's voice trembled with barely contained fury. “Why the deception, Vergil?”

  
The other man trembled under his blanket. “I'm not Vergil. I am Gilver.”

  
Dante growled, and ripped the blanket off with all his might. “Stop lying to me!”

  
What Dante saw made him gasp with horror. Gilver was indeed his brother, but he had changed. Vergil's skin took on a green tone, and many bright blue veins were pulsating visibly under his skin. Vergil looked up with wide crimson eyes brimming with tears. “I'm not Vergil! Vergil killed Nell, the woman that reunited him with his brother! Vergil betrayed his brother for power! Vergil abandoned his family to undo everything his mother and father stood for! Vergil was a weakling that lost to the demon that killed his mother! Vergil was tortured and mutilated for many years by Mundus until he broke down! Vergil was resurrected only to be kept like a lab rat by humans lusting after Sparda's power! Vergil isn't worthy of being a son of Sparda nor of being your brother! I don't want to be Vergil anymore!”

  
Vergil broke down into sobs on the bed. He curled up into the fetal position and cried. Dante was at an utter loss. His once proud, arrogant brother was now a broken man. Dante laid on the bed next to Vergil, and embraced him. Vergil sobbed harder. “I want to keep being Gilver... Gilver is a man that saved your life, and makes you breakfast every morning. Gilver is a perfect partner who never betrayed you or tried to kill you. Please, I want to be Gilver...”

  
Dante kissed the crook of Vergil's shoulder where his mark was. “But that's not who you are. You are Vergil, my twin, my other half, and a proud son of Sparda and Eva. You can be no one else. You have always stayed true to your namesake. You have always been there to guide me when my life became a hell. You made me remember who I was when I didn't. You awakened my devil trigger, and helped me embrace our father's blood. It was after I lost you to Hell, that I named this shop the Devil May Cry. I cried that day in the rain. I cried again after I thought I lost you all over again on Mallet Island. I can't lose you again Vergil. I don't care what you did, I still love you. Now, please look at me.”

  
Vergil's sobs stopped and he turned around. In the dim lighting Dante could study his face, seeing the corruption of Hell that left its mark on Vergil's skin, but it didn't take away his beauty. To Dante, Vergil was still his beautiful twin, though his beauty was a little tainted now thanks to Mundus. Dante kissed Vergil deeply. “Vergil... What happened to you?”

  
Vergil embraced Dante, and nuzzled his mark on Dante's neck. His voice was harsh, and laden with despair. “Dante. I fucked up. I thought I could take Mundus on my own, and look at what he did to me.”

  
Dante kissed Vergil again on his neck. “I know, and I still love you.”

  
Vergil shook his head. “I killed Nell.”

  
Dante kissed the other side of Vergil's neck. “It wasn't your fault or anyone else's. It was a tragic accident. Shit happens.”

  
Vergil sobbed. “I tried to kill you. I raised the Temen-Ni-Gru. I tried to sacrifice a city to have father's power. I became so obsessed with gaining power that I lost sight of the reason I wanted it so badly; to protect those I love.”

  
Dante kissed Vergil's ear. “And you're sorry, so I forgive you.”

  
Vergil's lip trembled. “I abandoned you when you needed me after Nell's death.”

  
Dante kissed Vergil's cheek, licking away his dried tears. “I said some pretty shitty things back then so I don't blame you for leaving me.”

  
Vergil trembled. “You're going to hate me for what I did.”

  
Dante kissed Vergil's other cheek, and whispered lovingly into his ear, “Try me.”

  
Vergil started crying again. “I abandoned our son at an orphanage in Fortuna City sixteen years ago.”

  
Dante froze, and stared at his brother. “Say what?”

 


	8. Mission Eight: The Father, The Son, & Holy Shit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my updates are slowing down. I usually plot my stories out from beginning to end, but Dante has been making me write by the seat of my pants. Also a new warning: Vergil's gross biology lesson. I hadn't really intended this to be an mpreg story, maybe mentioned for laughs, but Vergil, and Dante decided to go in that direction on their own.

Dante stared down at his brother, trying to process what Vergil had said. He must have heard wrong. Vergil said "our son" like a woman talking to her baby daddy. Vergil, a dude telling another dude about their son. Who apparently was abandoned in an orphanage in Fortuna City. Nero was raised in an orphanage in Fortuna City. Nero also looked just like them. "Vergil, can you repeat that? Surely you mean your son, right? As in you finally discovered girls, and forgot a condom, right?"

Vergil looked affronted. "Me? Lie with a human woman? I have not sunk that low brother!"

Dante wanted to laugh. Some things never change, like his brother's fucked up sense of morality. "Let's not change the subject. You said 'our son' as in you and me had a son. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who that would be. Care to explain? I'm still puzzled by that one little detail... well I wouldn't call it little. You, and me are pretty well endowed."

Vergil crossed his arms. "Nero is our son. You are his father."

Dante raised his eyebrows. "So I'm the kid's dad? I kinda figured from the moment I saw him...Wait a minute! If I'm his father, then the mother is... you?"

Vergil hid his face between his knees and groaned in shame. "My greatest moment of disgrace. That a proud son of Sparda ends up giving birth in some back ally in Fortuna City. I spent seven long painful hours next to garbage cans, and cursing your name. I was seventeen, alone, and powerless. I was barely able to feed myself, much less Nero. The scent of afterbirth attracted so many demons, and the hours of labor left me so weak. I couldn't even protect him or myself. I did him a great disgrace and left him in the hands of the misguided fools at the Order. I thought that they would love, and care for him in a way that I could not. That night of helplessness, of being unable to raise my own child drove me to seek out father's power, and into the arms of power hungry men like the Order, and Arkham."

Dante was speechless. He didn't know. He remembered being seventeen. He was angry, and stupid. Hell, they both were. Dante hugged Vergil. "I'm sorry you went through that alone. But seriously man, How?"

"I want to know how, too."

Dante and Vergil looked up at the doorway, and there stood Nero. The kids eyes were wide and staring in shock at the two of them. Dante feigned a smile. "Yo, kid! How long have you been standing there? I thought you were out getting pizza for all of us?"

Nero clenched his fist. Great now the kid was angry. "Tony's is closed today, going through some kind of renovation. I came back, and I heard yelling. Like how Gilver was apparently your twin brother, Vergil, and apparently the so called 'woman' that dumped me at an orphanage sixteen years ago. I'm not sure whether to be grossed out that my parents were siblings, or that they were both dudes. To honest, I'm more pissed than anything else that my mother abandoned me."

Vergil looked down in shame. "I'm sorry, Nero. I didn't know what else to do. I was seventeen and homeless, and worse still, I was stuck in my devil form. It wasn't until I was giving birth next to a garbage can that I realized that I was stuck devil triggered because I was pregnant. No one would help a monster. I was attacked by humans wherever I went. I thought that the Order, humans that worshiped my father would take good care of you. You were a descendant of Sparda, I thought that they would treat you like a god, and give you all the luxuries I could not."

Tears streamed down Nero's face, and his devil bringer clenched in a fist. "I grew up an outcast. They told me my mother was a prostitute. I wondered all these years who my parents were, what they were like, and now..."

Years of pent up anger at the mother who abandoned him was released in one single punch to Vergil's face. Vergil didn't even budge or bother defending himself. Nero punched Vergil, again, and again, and slammed him against the wall. Nero released Vergil from his devil bringer's grasp, and Vergil slid down like a rag doll. Vergil looked up at his son sadly. "Go ahead. Hit me again. I deserve it."

Nero devil triggered, and intended to impale Vergil with Yamato. Dante thought that enough was enough. He jumped out of bed, and encircled his arms around Nero in a hug. He didn't know if the kid would accept any comfort from him. To Dante's surprise, the kid latched on. "Hey, kid. I'm sorry too. I guess I'm a pretty lousy dad."

Nero hiccuped and laughed. "I think I was better off in the orphanage then to be raised by a pizza eating pervert like you, old man."

Dante smirked. "Old man? You not gonna call me dad? Or father? How about daddy?"

Nero punched Dante in the arm. "Old man suits you better."

Dante smiled, and hugged Nero tighter. "Fair enough, kid."

Dante looked over to Vergil, who was looking a bit left out. Dante called him over. "Hey, Verge. Get over here. We're hugging this one out."

Vergil looked surprised, and hesitantly walked over. Nero looked at Vergil, and their eyes locked on for a moment. Nero spoke up. "Sorry about that mummy joke. I didn't know you were... well, my mother."

Vergil embraced Nero, and Dante. "I'm sorry for treating you like a child. I know I have no right to act like I am your mother. I never should have abandoned you."

Nero tightened his hold on Vergil. "I guess if you hadn't, I wouldn't have met Kyrie. So I guess I can forgive you. I ain't calling you mom, though. Too weird. I'll stick with 'mummy' just to piss you off."

Vergil snorted. "You are definitely your father's son. He's was an annoying little punk, too."

Dante grumbled. "Yeah, yeah. This family reunion is touching an' all, but seriously, Verge. How the hell did you get pregnant? You're a dude."

Nero looked at Vergil with a puzzled expression. "Yeah. Last I checked, men can't get pregnant."

Vergil was cornered. He sighed. "Neither one of you studied demonology, did you? Despite having demon blood? Pathetic."

Dante and Nero looked sheepish. Vergil sighed wearily and continued. "Every one in this room is a hybrid of demon and human blood. Demons, unlike humans, don't have gender. And unlike humans, they breed only when they are in heat. That is the purpose of breeding pits. Demons in heat gather to spread their genes. Demons, because of their genderless nature, can impregnate or get pregnant when in heat."

Dante raised a brow. "So you're saying that we've got, what, a uterus? Where the fuck does did you squeeze out the kid? I know for a fact that you don't have the conventional hole. You didn't shit him out of your ass like a giant turd did you?"

Vergil glared at Dante. "You have a colorful vernacular as usual, brother. No, we do not as you so colorfully put it "shit him out" nor do we have a uterus. It is more of a reptilian cloaca in the uh.. putting in and squeezing out function, though I guess it would internally be more of a mammalian uterus. At least that is my understanding."

Nero cocked his head. "I'm not sure I follow. I got a D in biology."

Vergil shook his head. "Yes, you are definitely Dante's son. To put in layman's terms, demons have one hole for shitting and fucking. They only use said hole for fucking when they are fertile, which is only two or three times a year. Dante and I are half demons. Meaning we have the same heat cycle, but because of our human blood, we participate in non demon behavior like fucking when we aren't fertile or trying to humiliate an enemy."

Dante snickered at his brother's uncharacteristic use of profanity. "I can't believe you said fuck, Verge."

Vergil rolled his eyes. "Stop acting like a brain dead monkey, for once and take this seriously. This is a serious issue that Nero needs to know, and you as well for that matter. I can't believe you haven't even noticed your own anatomy. I know you have devil triggered years ago. You should have gone through many heat cycles by now."

Dante stopped laughed, and looked puzzled. "Heat cycles? You mean that thing women go through once a month? Even I would have noticed shitting blood once a month dude."

Vergil growled at Dante. "Not once a month, you idiot, its twice a year! Have you been listening to me at all? Haven't you ever gotten sick?"

Dante pondered for a moment. "Well, I get a stomach bug once in awhile, and of course I feel pretty shitty after going on benders. That's normal."

Vergil slapped his palm against his forehead. "How is my twin such an imbecile? Let me guess, Dante. About two or three times a year, you solicit strip clubs like Love Planet, feeling an incredible need for sex. You spend a whole week getting drunk, getting laid, and getting into a few fights. Then the next few days you are on the toilet feeling like someone kicked you repeatedly in the stomach and you shit blood."

Dante paled. "Yeah... how did you know all... oh shit. So all those times I was on my fucking period?!"

Nero held his head and groaned. "Oh god! Is this going to happen to me?!"

Vergil rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm. When was the first time you devil triggered?"

Nero looked up, remembering the day his arm changed permanently and the month after that in Agnus's lab when that ghostly specter appeared. "Umm, about six months ago."

Vergil looked at Dante. "What of you, Dante. After your first devil trigger when did you go into heat."

Dante grimaced and looked at the kid with pity. "About six months after. I was horny as hell, and mourning you. So I drank myself stupid, spent a week with my hand, several one night stands, and spent the next three days on the porcelain throne. What about you, Verge? I don't remember... oh yeah! Christmas! It was about six months after you devil triggered. Nell thought you had some kind of stomach bug and cancelled our Christmas trip to Florida."

Vergil groaned at the memory. "Yes, I remember vividly. You never forgave me, and spent a week not talking to each other."

Dante leaned in closer to Vergil, and gave him a flirtatious smile. "But we made up real nicely on New Years. Nell forgot to take down that one sprig of mistletoe."

Vergil leaned in closer to Dante, his lips almost brushing against Dante's. "I remember that night fondly. You sneaked some of Nell's 'grown-up's eggnog' into our room. We spent three glorious sweaty hours ringing in the new year."

Nero coughed, interrupting them. "Umm, I don't mean to be rude, but what about me? Its been six months since I first devil triggered. What the hell am I supposed to do? And what about Kyrie? What do I tell her? That my mother is Dante's twin brother? Or that I'm going to be going into heat like damn dog?!"

Dante thought hard. If there was one thing that he would always do better at than his brother, it was knowing how to talk his way out of trouble. Dante clapped a hand on Nero's shoulder. "Kid, your old man is gonna teach you a very important life lesson: weaseling your way out of trouble. I'll help you talk to Kyrie."

Vergil rolled his eyes. "You can stay here when the first symptoms appear. You'll go through a week where you want to mate with something really bad."

Nero blushed, and Dante remembered something important. "Hey kid, have you and Kyrie have sex yet?"

Nero's blush deepened. He's has always yearned to have parents and was always jealous when he saw other kids with their parents, even when they whined, 'Mom, dad, quit embarrassing me!' Now that he was having The Talk with his birth parents, a part of him wished he never discovered who they were. "No! I mean... Well, we haven't done that much yet. Just some kissing. I have quite gone past first base."

Dante's grin widened. "Well, kid. Your old man's gonna teach you how to please the ladies. Don't bother asking Vergil, he never liked women much anyway."

Vergil smacked the back of Dante's head. "Nero, take Dante's advice on the ladies with a large grain of salt, as in the blocks that cows lick. This man asked sixteen different women at our high school to the prom. He ended up going with me."

Nero snickered while Dante growled at his brother. "I know that very well, Verge. As I recall you lost the coin toss, and went with me in drag. No one else could tell that you were a dude. As far as our school was concerned you were my hot girlfriend from Canada. You were even voted as prom queen."

Nero laughed harder at Vergil. "You dressed in drag? Seriously?!"

Vergil grumbled, and crossed his arms. Dante laughed at him. "I put Verge, here in a powder blue dress, a blonde wig, and called him Virginia. I still have the pictures you can show Kyrie. Just tell her the truth: I'm you father, your mom was the prom queen, and here's a picture of them on their prom night. If our principal couldn't tell that Virginia was Vergil in drag, I doubt Kyrie could tell from a picture."

Vergil looked horrified. "You still have those pictures?! I thought I burned them all!"

Dante nodded happily. "I got back up copies from the school! I even still have your tiara."

Nero cut them off before they could start another argument. "Um, thanks I'll be happy to look at some pictures, but I don't think I'll need one right now. I've got to tell her the truth sometime, but I don't know if she'll accept me. Hell, I haven't quite accepted that I was born from incest, much less that my mother is a man. I mean, shit, does this mean I could get knocked up too?"

Vergil cupped Nero's face, and smiled warmly. Dante stared in amazement as he saw their mother in Vergil for the first time. It was the same affection that their mother did for them. Vergil kissed Nero's forehead. "Don't worry, my child. You will never be alone again. You have both of us now."

Nero hugged Vergil, and smiled. "Thanks. For what's it worth I think you guys would make great parents."

Dante laughed. "Yeah, maybe someday me and Verge can try again. You'd make a pretty good big brother."

Vergil glanced toward Dante with a sadistic gleam in his eyes. "Yes, someday soon."

Dante shuddered. So much for Vergil's warm motherly affection. Dante paused at Vergil's words. "Wait, what do you mean by that. Shit! Are you pregnant again?!"

Vergil laughed. It was a cold and cruel laugh. "Oh no, Dante. Not this time. This time around it is your turn, my dear brother!"


	9. Mission Nine: Fusion Dance

 

 

 

“I'm WHAT?!” Dante screamed at Vergil.

Vergil calmed stared back at Dante. “You're pregnant. Congratulations. If we're picking names, I suggest Rodan, after the famous sculptor. I was originally going to name Nero this, but he didn't really look like a Rodan.”

Nero raised a brow. “Rodan? Me?”

Vergil managed a small smile for Nero. “Yes, but Nero suited you more.”

Dante flailed his arms like he was a castaway getting a plane's attention. “Hey! Have you forgotten about me?! I'm fucking pregnant! What the hell am I going to do? I can't run my shop like this! And I'm sure as Hell is a big shit show ain't letting Lady or Trish get wind of this! I'd never hear the end of it! Christ! How am I supposed to take care of a fucking baby?!”

Vergil rubbed his chin. “Hmmm. That is a problem. I suppose I can run the shop while I hide you in the basement, much like a crazy relative. Wait... You already qualify as a crazy relative.”

Dante's eyebrow twitched angrily. “Won't Lady or Trish notice me being gone, and Gilver isn't saying where I went? They're still suspicious of you as it is.”

Nero piped in, “Aren't you two twins? Maybe you two can switch?”

Dante grinned. “That's perfect! We did that all the time in high school! It's how I passed my history classes.”

Vergil acidly replied, “In case you haven't noticed, I'm fucking green! Years ago that would have worked before both Mundus, and Agnus mutilated me!”

Nero, and Dante looked down sadly. Dante wanted to heal his twin more than anything. He missed being an identical twin. It used to bug the shit out of him, having a guy who looked so much like him and yet was so different. They were never those twins who were always in sync with one another, like Agni and Rudra. Then Dante had an idea. “Then we'll just undo it! I think I might know of a way to fix you!”

Vergil looked somewhat hopeful. “Really? I'm all ears.”

Dante beamed brightly. “I overheard those two chatter boxes, Agni and Rudra talk about it. Apparently some demons, especially demon twins, can do it.”

Vergil snapped. “Well, what is it?”

Dante held up a hand to wait. “Hold on I want to do this properly.”

Dante then got down on one knee, and held Vergil's hand tenderly. Vergil was speechless by his actions and his green cheeks darkened into a blush. Nero was staring slack jawed. Dante looked into Vergil's eyes lovingly, and sweetly asked, “Vergil, my dearest brother? Will you do me the honor of fusing with me?”

Vergil balked, and snatched his hand away. “You want to fuse with me?! Are you insane?!”

Nero scratched his head. “What the hell is fusion? Is is some kind of weird demon marriage? If it will fix you, why not try it?”

Vergil shook his head. “I'm surrounded by idiots. Fusion is where two demons in great harmony with one another can fuse into a single physical entity. It commonly occurs in twins, or lovers since there has to be a great deal of trust since you'll be sharing the same body with them. It is dangerous as it can become permanent. It may not even work with us.”

Dante glanced at his flat stomach with some worry. “Will it hurt the kid?”

Vergil shook his head. “I've heard of demons fusing while one was pregnant and giving birth to their unholy spawn while still fused. That had better not happen with us. I experienced childbirth once. Never again.”

Nero blanched. “This is sounding like you two have to have... sex.” Nero barely got that last word out.

Dante's grinned widened. “That's the best bit! From what I hear it's the greatest pleasure a demon can experience.”

Nero pulled a face, looking almost as green as Vergil. “And that's my queue to leave. I'll see you tomorrow old man!”

Nero sped toward the door, but Vergil stopped him. “If Dante insists on this foolish venture, then I will need one item back. I know I am no longer worthy of it, and I know you deserve it more, but I still want Yamato.”

Nero held his devil bringer, feeling it pulse. He knew Vergil was the true owner of Yamato. Nero was always just borrowing it. Before Nero knew it, his arm pulsed with light, and Yamato was in Vergil's waiting hand. Nero felt sad to see his first, and only devil's arm go. He missed it already.

Vergil looked in admiration at Yamato, as if seeing a long lost brother returned to him. Vergil saw Nero looking sadly down at his arm. “Nero, I have something in my possession that might be more suitable to you.”

Vergil walked over to his closet and rummaged through it. Nero caught glimpses of clothes, and swore he saw a purple frilly outfit that only Prince would wear. Vergil took out a long bandaged object as long as he was. “I picked this up when I was in hell. It was owned by man with long silver hair, one black wing, and less sanity than even I. He kept pestering me for something called materia, and someone named Cloud so naturally I fought him. It was a long duel, but I won in the end. He had quite the oedipus complex if I recall, worse than my dear brother here.”

“Hey!” Dante objected, “Trish only looked like our mother, that doesn't make her our mother!”

Vergil rolled his eyes. “She was a clone of mother. That's bad enough.” Vergil unwrapped the bandages, and revealed the longest katana Nero had ever since. “Its name is Masamune. It is yours.”

Nero took the sword with a wide grin, and to no surprise saw his arm greedily absorb it. “It's awesome! I can't wait to try it out!”

Vergil smiled. “I am glad you like it. Think of it as a long belated birthday gift. The first of many I have to make up for.”

Nero pelted Vergil with a hug, catching the older man off guard. “Thanks, mummy.”

Vergil hugged Nero back. It was a feeling he was clearly not used to, and the hug was awkward, but it was genuine. “Your welcome, son.”

Nero sped out the door. “I'm going to go try out my new sword! See ya guys later!”

Dante watched the interaction with great interest. “Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle. I never thought you would ever become so... What's the word? Ah! Maternal. You would've made such a good mother.”

Vergil growled. “No. I don't have the tits for it.”

Dante snickered as the image of Vergil with boobs popped into his head. Vergil raised an eyebrow at Dante, he knew where his brother's head was, and with a sigh he went to straighten his closet that he rummaged through. Then Dante wondered if he was going to grow boobs. “Hey Verge! Am I going to grow boobs?”

Vergil paused, and felt an opportunity he hadn't heard knocking in a while; messing with his brother's head. He hid an evil smirk. “Yes, and rather large ones.”

Dante squealed like a kid on Christmas. “Yes! I'm so tired of renting, now I can be a proud boob owner!”

Vergil stifled his laughter. “Don't worry, they'll only be a temporary nuisance. Once the child is weaned, they'll go away.”

Dante still grinned. “I guess this whole demon pregnancy won't be so bad after all. So since the kid's away, do the parents get to play?”

Vergil stilled. “You still wish to fuse?”

Dante nodded. “Even if it becomes permanent, I can't think of anyone I'd rather be stuck with than you. Even if you're an asshole sometimes.”

Vergil gave him a warm, and genuine smile. “And I guess it wouldn't be so bad being stuck with a complete idiot like you.”

Dante gave Vergil a quick kiss. “You're smiling a lot today. I like it. So shall we do this?”

Vergil visibly swallowed, feeling oddly like they were sixteen again. Neither of them knew how to have sex, and only the faintest clue of what it was. “I've only read about it in our father's notes. We will need our mother's amulets, and our swords; Yamato, and Rebellion.”

Dante paused. “Our father's notes? And mom gave us those swords and those amulets, right? Didn't she say there was a secret about them that she was going tell us when were older?”

Vergil nodded. “Yeah, I found it mentioned in father's notes. I think she knew we were going to fuse since we were born. The notes said that demon twins are rare, usually because one eats the other in the womb if they don't intend to mate with each other later.”

Dante took in the information. Their parents knew he, and Vergil were going to be an item. Somehow it didn't surprise him, but it took a weight off of his shoulders that it was a natural thing for him. Human society would condemn them for their relationship, but in hell it was acceptable, even expected. Dante cleared his throat. “I'll go get the amulets.”

Dante turned and left to get the sword Sparda. He had to hide it ever since Trish took off with it to Fortuna City. He hid it in the one place neither Lady or Trish would dare go no matter how desperate: in his box of sexy costumes, and all of it designed to be worn by men. Dante was surprised Gilver, or rather Vergil, hadn't found it before, but the sexy nurse uniform that greeted anyone when they opened the box had probably turned him off. Dante dug to the bottom, past outfits that would get him arrested if worn in public. There lay Sparda, the sword of the legendary dark knight, an icon worshipped by people, and it had a red g-string hanging off of it.  
Dante grabbed his father's sword, and ran back to Vergil. “Here! I trust you know how to separate them?”

Vergil pulled a face, as he looked at the g-string hanging off of the priceless heirloom. “Christ, Dante, what the hell is that?”

Dante snatched the g-string, and threw it away with a sheepish grin. “Never you mind that!”

Vergil now handled his father's sword with the same care as one would a grungy kitchen sponge. He put his hands on the red gems that decorated the sword, and put energy through them. Then with a pop, the amulets separated. The sword clattered the floor, and Vergil handed Dante his amulet, while he put on his own. Dante looked at him with a raised brow. “So do we have sex now?”

Vergil laughed, and picked up Yamato. “No, we dance. Fusing is used for battle, not reproduction. Now pick up your sword, and lets go downstairs.”

Vergil vanished, and Dante stood in complete confusion. “Seriously?! Dancing?! You've got to be shitting me!”

Dante picked up Rebellion and headed downstairs where he saw his brother standing in front of the juke box. Vergil turned. “Yes, brother, we dance. We must maintain eye contact, and with the magic in our amulets, and in our swords we should be able to fuse, but we must be in harmony. Got it?”

Dante smirked, and held out his hand. “So it's like our usual foreplay then! So, care for this dance, partner?”

Vergil smirked back at him, and pressed play on the juke box. “Of course, partner.”

The sounds of a pumping rhythm blared from it, making their blood rise. They devil triggered at the same time, and leapt back from each other. They mirrored the other's move, and circled one another. Dante held out a hand, which Vergil took, and Dante began to lead their dance as Vergil submitted to him. Dante pulled his twin closer, spinning them in time to the fast rhythm. Their eyes never straying, and their grins never fading. It was a kind of dance that seemed familiar, yet this time it was different. There was no power struggle between them anymore, nor any deadly metal clashing between them. Just the same desire to be together.

Dante hand caressed down Vergil's back, and stopped at his pert rear, and pulled him closer so their hips met. Their dance quickly turned into a lascivious display of their same desire to be closer. Their faces only a hairsbreadth apart. The amulets on their necks glowed, and they felt a strong pull to each other. Flesh met flesh, and lips met lips. In a flash of light, and a brief moment of ecstasy, someone new stood in their place. Someone that greatly resembled the great demon Sparda. He looked down at himself, and wondered for a moment if 'he' should be a 'they'. “We, no I, look like our father? This feels so weird... Who am I? Am I you Dante? Or am I you, Verge?” He thought for a moment. “Ah! We're both!”

The new Sparda like creature, felt a dull, but constant pleasure, like a warm feeling of being spooned, and spooning someone. He felt alone, and yet he felt like two people. He patted his belly, feeling the faint life-force of a third person. He then felt a rising surge of energy, a lust for battle. He sniffed the air and smelled in the distance demon blood, and the battle cry of another who shared his blood. “My child!”

He looked down at his swords, one a sword that Nelo Angelo carried, and the other resembled the sword of Sparda. He exited the shop, and took to the night air following the scent of blood. He was faster, and stronger then he, or they, had ever felt. He looked down and saw Nero fighting Hell Lusts, and Hell Prides. He was slaughtering them easily, but many more took the place for everyone he cut down. He flew down, and saw his eyes widened at his approach. “Sparda? It can't be!”

The Sparda like demon, cut down the rest the rest of the swarming demons with only a few swings of his swords. He turned to Nero, and smiled. “We're proud of you, son.”

Nero grinned as he realized who this Sparda like demon was. “Holy crap! That fusion thing worked didn't it?! How does it feel?”

His grin widened. “Weird, but a really good weird. Like that feeling you get when your dick enter's a woman's pussy for the first time!”

Then he grimaced, and gagged. Then the red gems on his chest glowed and in a bright burst of red, and blue light, the Sparda fusion disappeared, and Vergil, and Dante appeared in his place. Vergil held his stomach, trying not to lose his lunch. He glared furiously at Dante. “You're sick! I could feel your thoughts, and the memory of- oh gods I can't say it! That was the most disgusting thing I-”

Vergil lost his lunch. Dante stood there shaking his head at his brother's fucked up sense of morals. “You know our father had sex with a human woman to make us, right? It's perfectly natural!”

Vergil conjured energy swords, and threw them at Dante, all of them missing. Nero coughed to get their attention. “Umm... Guys? What just happened?”

Dante laughed. “We lost harmony. My brother here can't stand the idea of having sex with a girl! He's going to have to learn how to pretend though if he's going to be me. You know since I'm an infamous ladies man!”

Nero hesitantly patted Vergil on the back who was still looking like he was going to puke. “Vergil? You're not green anymore, that's good right?”

Vergil looked at his hands, and sure enough the color looked normal. He felt elated. He was healed, and it worked. Then he looked at Dante who was still devil triggered. He was going to have to dress like Dante, and act like Dante until their child was born. For the second time that night, Vergil felt like crying. It was a new record. “Great... I'm going to have to be you until our spawn is born.”

Nero smiled. “You know, it just hit me. I'm going to be a big brother!”

Vergil felt his lips twitch. “Yes, you are definitely you're father's son.”

Dante gave Vergil a hard slap on the back. “Buck up Verge! For the next eight or so months you get to be me!”

Vergil glared at Dante. “Does this me I have to...” Vergil shuddered. “Flirt with human women?”

Dante's grin widened. “Yup! Otherwise, Trish, and Lady will find out, and probably shoot you! Or worse, throw you a bachelor party!”

Vergil paled. “Can we go on a vacation for eight or so months instead? Hell can be lovely this time of year, and more preferable, and Nero can watch the shop.”

Dante, and Nero laughed. “The old man doesn't have that kind of money, and I'll be busy with Kyrie when I go into heat!”

“Yeah, the kid's right, and I can't afford to give him all of my jobs for that long.”

Vergil sighed wearily. “Then I am stuck wearing red, and looking like a doofus for the next eight or so months.”

Nero jabbed a thumb in Dante's direction. “Don't forget taking care of preggers, here.”

Dante grinned. “Yeah, don't forget about me! I'll probably have all kinds of food cravings, and I'll need lots of pampering, and crap!”

Vergil took a deep breath, and relented into the fresh hell he had found himself in. Vergil looked into a nearby window on the street, and saw his reflection. He was normal looking again, like a proud son of Sparda, and for a moment when he was fused with Dante, he felt a sense of being truly complete. The three of them standing in the street surrounded by demon corpses, and covered in blood made for a strange family, but a family they were nonetheless. Vergil smiled. Perhaps this new hell would be bearable, maybe even enjoyable.

 

* * *

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the hits! Over a thousand! Woot! And I can see some of the questions you guys have noticed about the chapter, yes I was thinking Steven Universe and Dragon Ball Z when coming up with the chapter title, and yes, Nero did just get Sephiroth's sword. I was inspired by that Vergil vs Sephiroth death battle I saw on youtube, Vergil won. Next chapter will be awhile, but hopefully not too long. Please leave a comment below, and tell me what you guys thought, and again thanks for over a thousand hits!


	10. Mission Ten: Locking Horns

 

Vergil woke up to feeling of Dante's scaly arm around his torso. Dante's devil trigger hadn't stopped since their fusion the night before. They had a long tiresome talk about switching places. Vergil wanted to refuse, calling his brother a coward for not facing his friends. They couldn't just hide a baby from them after it was born. They almost broke out into bloody brawl, but both of them were too tired to fight. They both were tired of being at odds. Vergil certainly was. So Vergil gave in to his brother's desire to hide, just so there wouldn't be a repeat of their history. He wanted their relationship to work out this time. They promised.

They went straight to Dante's bed together, still brothers, and still lovers, with their argument pushed away with soft kisses. It was almost weird to be sleeping in the same bed again for the first time in years, and yet they had been screwing each other raw for weeks. It was a different kind of intimacy, and strangely it made something in his once cold dead heart pulse with warmth. Vergil had gone years with sleeping with one eye open waiting for some demon to sneak up on him at his most vulnerable. Now he was snuggling his bare back closer into the arms of a demon, his own twin he had once tried to kill no less.

Vergil smile warmly, and rolled over so he was on top of Dante. His glowing red eyes opened, and he grinned up at Vergil with sharp fangs glinting dangerously. “Morning, Verge!”

Vergil traced Dante's face with a finger, admiring his twin's demon form. It was no wonder that the Order of the Sword wanted Dante for their “savior”. Dante looked every bit the princely son of Sparda that he was. Vergil kissed his twin deeply. When they parted Vergil whispered sultrily into Dante's ear, “How about I give you breakfast, brother?”

Dante licked Vergil's neck were he left his mating mark, and nibbled on Vergil's ear. “Mmm... Sounds delicious.”

Vergil hand ducked under the sheets, and found Dante's quickly hardening shaft. Vergil gave Dante a smirk before lowering his head to his twin's erection. When he slid Dante's member into his mouth,

Dante rewarded him with a strangled cry, pleading for more. Vergil gladly obliged, giving the head a hard suck. Dante gasped, “Vergil!”

Vergil sucked harder, and let the member slide out of his mouth with an audible pop. Dante whimpered at the loss. Then his red eyes widened when he saw Vergil straddling his hips. “Verge? I haven't topped you in years! Are you sure?”

Vergil nodded. “After all that we've been through, I want this.” Vergil growled. “Even though the last time you topped me was because you cheated at a coin toss!”

Dante grinned sheepishly. “I said I was sorry... So are you...” Dante trailed off awkwardly.

Vergil rolled his eyes and grabbed a bottle of lube, and box of magnums. “Yes, but I will not be taking any chances this time.”

Vergil ripped open the foil of the condom, and swiftly slid it on to his brother's erect member. He slicked it up with more lube. He hadn't bottomed in years, and in Dante's current form, his twin could end up being a huge pain in his ass, literally. More than he usually was anyway.

Vergil carefully positioned himself, and slowly sank down onto Dante's shaft. He hissed as he felt the head fully entered him. Dante panted beneath him. “Vergil! Damn, you're tight!”

Vergil finally sank down all the way to the hilt. Dante had gotten bigger since they were teenagers, and it made him feel sixteen again when Dante took his virginity. It made him ache, and sigh with pleasure at the feeling of being full, and complete. It had been too long. Vergil looked down at his twin's demonic features twisted with pleasure, and raw need. Dante was panting like an animal, wordlessly begging for Vergil to move. Vergil smiled, at the familiarity of it all. “How I missed this brother! You inside of me, and begging me to ride you into ecstasy!”

Dante let out a animalistic growl, and writhed uselessly beneath Vergil. “Come on, Verge! Move damn it!”

Vergil clicked his tongue, and wagged his finger. “Ah-ah, my dear brother. Say the magic words first.”

Dante moaned, the sound shooting straight to Vergil's own member. How he loved that sound. “Please? Big brother?”

Vergil chuckled, and crooned into his twin's ear. “Since you've been so good...” He slowly lifted himself up, and sank down quickly, making Dante gasp. “I'll give you what you want.”

Vergil set out an achingly slow pace as he rode his brother's shaft. It wasn't long until Dante got impatient, and dug his claws into Vergil's hips, and caused Vergil to tumble onto his back with his legs around Dante's hips. Dante thrust himself wildly into Vergil, ramming it in with great force. Vergil growled, feeling his own devil trigger crawl just beneath his skin. He grinned predatorily at Dante. “Oh, so that's how it's going to be!”

Vergil wrapped his arms around Dante, and rolled them over, pinning Dante beneath him. Dante bucked erratically into Vergil, making him gasp with pleasure as Dante hit his prostrate. “What's wrong, big brother? Are you finishing so soon?”

Vergil glared at Dante with blood red eyes, and devil triggered. There was no way he was letting Dante win this one. Vergil grinned with excitement, feeling his own, and his twin's natural competitive streak rear its head. He loved Dante, whether it was fighting him, or making love to him. He loved all of it, especially when they did both. Vergil growled as his blood coursed with the heat of battle, and pleasure. “I will not be beaten so easily, my dear brother!”

Vergil attacked Dante's neck, with tongue, and teeth. Mercilessly sucking, nibbling, and licking all of his brother's weak points. Dante shivered beneath him as Vergil sank his teeth into his neck, deepening the mating mark he left there. Dante was not one to give up. He assaulted his brother's neck in kind, and sank his fang's into Vergil's neck, feeling satisfaction as Vergil moaned into Dante's flesh.

Dante reached between them, and grabbed Vergil's erection, massaging the member. Vergil shivered and moaned into his neck, still refusing to let go. Dante increased the rhythm of his thrusts, ramming into Vergil with great force. The room filled with sounds of flesh slapping against flesh and the smell of sweat, sex, and blood. Dante felt his climax reaching a peak, just as Vergil was reaching his own limit. Their demonic roars were muffled by flesh, and together they climaxed in each other's arms. A draw.

Dante let go of his brother's neck, just as Vergil let go of his. They looked at each other with love, showing none of the competitiveness of before. Vergil ended his devil trigger, and pressed his lips gently against Dante's fanged mouth. “It seems we tied, Dante.”

Dante chuckled. “I don't know, Verge. I think you came just a nanosecond before I did.”

Vergil snorted, and kissed the already healed mark on Dante's neck. “Bullshit.”

Downstairs, the phone rang. Vergil quirked an eyebrow at his brother. “You going to get that?”

Dante snorted. “No. I'm busy. In case you forgot I'm taking a nine month vacation thanks to a certain someone. You get it.”

Vergil scowled. “Can't. I've got pain in the ass to deal with.” Vergil moved his hips a little, clenching on his brother's member still inside of him for emphasis.

Dante laughed. “I always suspected you kept a giant stick up your ass. Here, let me help.”

Dante grabbed Vergil with two large demonic arms, and lifted Vergil up. His member slid out with a comical pop, making Vergil's face scrunch up like someone decided to wake him by waxing the hair off his ass. Dante then dumped a less then friendly Vergil outside his bedroom door. Vergil limped down the stairs where the phone kept ringing. Whoever it was, was damn persistent. Vergil picked it up, feeling in no mood to be friendly. “Devil-May-Who-Gives-A-Fuck! What do you want?!”

Vergil recognized the woman's voice on the other end, one of Dante's friends. It was Arkham's daughter, or Lady, as she taken to calling herself these days. “Yeesh! Dante! Someone sure is crabby this afternoon!”

Vergil looked for a working clock in confusion. His eyes widened when he saw it was well past three. “It can't be afternoon, I just woke up.”

Lady groaned on the other line. “Ugh! Typical! I had hoped that creep Gilver would actually make you less of a lazy slob. How is the mummy, anyway?”

Vergil's lips twitched. Lady didn't notice she had the wrong twin. Did he really sound like his brother? Maybe switching places with Dante wasn't such a ridiculous notion after all. It couldn't be too hard to impersonate his lazy slob of a twin. “Upstairs sleeping. Wild night.” Vergil smirked feeling an idea come to him. He smirked and did his best Dante-impersonation. “Listen, babe, I know you're in to me, but I'm in a committed relationship.”

Lady cursed at him. “Fuck you, Dante! As if I would want a pizza eating freak like you! I was just worried about you! Gilver gives me the creeps. I know he's your...” Vergil could hear Lady shudder on the other end. “...boyfriend, but there's something about the guy I don't trust.”

Vergil cleared his throat, pretending to be Dante might be a little hard. “Listen Lady, Gilver is intelligent, capable, and truly loves me. My place was a pigsty, and I was in a deep depression. Because of my demon blood, I could never truly be happy with a human woman. They're fragile, weak, and die easily.” Vergil winced. He accidentally let slip some of his own feelings on human women.

Lady's voice softened. “Oh Dante, I understand. What happened all of those years ago... I know what it's like to lose family to demons. I watched you for years flirt with women but never really let them in. I guess its hard to believe that some creep dressed like a mummified Prince shows up out of the blue and suddenly you two are picking out curtains, but I'm glad you finally found someone. I always suspected that if you did, it'd probably be a man that reminded you of the family you lost. Trish told me as much.”

Vergil was speechless for a moment. Could it be that his brother who always struck him as a playboy, was mostly talk? Vergil never lain with, nor did he want to, with women. His brother had always seemed interested in them enough, but he never formed any relationships with them, Trish being the exception, but Vergil knew that his brother was a mama's boy. So his brother's friends thought he might be hiding in the closet so to speak? He smirked, deciding to turn this into a golden opportunity to fuck with his brother's reputation. After all, it was his damn fault for not being honest with his friends about his condition, and choosing to hide like a coward. “Lady, could you do me a solid?”

Lady growled. “If you want more money, forget it!”

Vergil quickly corrected her. “No, no, no! That's not it! I actually want to give you money.”

Silence on the other end. “You pulling my leg.”

Vergil's grin widened. Dante was going to pay dearly for making him answer the damn phone. “No, I want your help in throwing me a coming out party. I want the whole world to know that I'm gay, and proud of it! I'll give you a few thousand, and I'll need you, and Trish's help in sending out invitations to everyone I know.”

Lady screeched in shock. “Seriously?! What the hell have you been drinking?! Next you're telling me you'll be dressing in drag!”

Vergil thought about that. “Not a bad idea, it's my coming out party. Make sure you take lots of pictures. I want to remember this night for years to come.”

More silence, then laughter. “Okay Dante, I don't what you're on, but you asked for it. I'll meet you in an hour at the Bull's Eye for your... party. Bring my money.”

Vergil hung up, and laughed. Upstairs, the real Dante stirred. Dante shambled out of their bedroom. “What the hell's so funny, Verge?”

Vergil smirked evilly. “Oh nothing. Just having a nice chat with Lady. She didn't even suspect that I was not you. Perhaps this little charade will work after all. I'll be meeting her later at the Bull's Eye to plan your little bash.”

Dante's ears pricked at the word party, now looking noticeably more cheery. “Party! Damn, when? Wait... If you're planning the party that means no booze, no babes, and lots of fucking demons!”

Vergil's smile was deceptively sweet. “Don't be silly brother. They will be plenty of alcohol, and plenty of 'babes' as you call them, but most likely they will not be women. After all... it is a coming-out party. Your coming out party to be exact.”

Dante paled. “A WHAT PARTY?!”

Vergil smirked evilly. “Yes, I will be attending in drag under your identity, and every person you know will think that Dante the Demon Hunter is queerer than a three dollar bill.”

Dante growled. “Dammit Vergil! Why the fuck would you do this to me?!”

Vergil's eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, and jabbed a finger to his twin's scaly chest. “Because, my dearest brother, if I have to masquerade as you for the next nine months, I may as well ensure that I won't have to...” Vergil shuddered. “ _Flirt_ with women. You could just come out, and be honest with your friends about your pregnancy. You can still tell them the truth, and I can turn you coming-out drag show into baby shower.”

  
Dante crossed his arms stubbornly. “No.”

Vergil sighed. His brother was equally as stubborn as he was. “Very well, brother. Hide here like a coward, but what are you going to do when our second child comes? Hide him in the attic like a dirty secret? Don't you dare make the same mistake as I did with Nero.”

Dante shifted a little, looking at his flat stomach in surrender. “I don't know how to be a parent, Vergil. Our relationship is fucked up enough as it is, and dear ol' dad made sure that all of his descendants will have to clean up his endless mess. Look what happened to mom, look what happened to us.”

Vergil reached out to Dante, and embraced him. “I don't know how to be a parent either, but I'm willing to try.”

Dante hugged his brother back. “You really changed, Verge.”

Vergil tightened his embrace. “I'm sorry that it took years of hell to change me into a better person.”

Dante winced at the mention of Vergil's time in hell. He sighed. “Alright. I guess it'll have to be a baby shower, but... can you give me some time? This isn't easy for me to accept. I just found out that Nero is actually our kid, and that I've got another one on the way.”

Vergil nodded. “Of course. How about we call Nero over? His own heat will be coming soon. We'll need to discuss precautions.”

Dante slapped his forehead. “Shit! I forgot! Kyrie is just a human! Damn... this is why I never really got attached to any human woman. How did mom do it?”

Vergil rolled his eyes. “Because most of father's powers were sealed away, and she was a skilled Umbran witch. Kyrie as far as I know, has none of mother's talents in magic, nor is Nero's powers sealed away like father's.”

Dante scratched the back of his head. “Right. I'll call the kid over. Have a father-son talk. I may have a few ideas. What about you?”

Vergil huffed. “I have the regrettable chore of socializing with your female friends, and pretend to be oaf named Dante as well.”

Dante snorted. “Yeah, yeah, having fun has always been like pulling teeth with you. I've only got the job of telling our spawn how to have sex without ripping his girlfriend to shreds.”

Vergil walked back upstairs, and gave his brother a wave. “Good luck with that, brother. I'll be in my own personal hell surrounded by your harpies for friends.”

Vergil heard Dante curse moodily, ignoring it, he sighed as he went to Dante's closet. Red, and black as far as the eye could see. Vergil rolled his eyes at the sight of his closet. Red was Dante's color, not his. Funny how they were identical twins, and yet differed so much. Vergil put on Dante's usual red, and black attire everyone was used to. He looked in the mirror at himself, his hair was down, and not slicked back like he preferred. To the untrained eye he looked just like Dante. The differences between them were subtle, Dante's face was slightly fuller, stronger, while his own had slightly sharper, and leaner edge.

Vergil tried out one of Dante's devil may care smirks. It wasn't quite right, it was a little too cold, and stiff. It had none of Dante's fire that he loved so much. Vergil tried again, thinking of his brother's warm embrace, and the feeling of his wild soul entwined with his when they were fused together. It was better, but still not right. He went back downstairs, his brother was staring at him. “I don't think will work, Dante. Your friends are sharp.”

  
Dante looked at him appraisingly. “Hmm... You look a little too stiff, and cold, but they won't notice a thing. Try to loosen up a little.”

  
Vergil gave his brother a cocky smirk. “The name's Dante, babe. Ready to rock?”

  
Dante grinned, fangs glinting dangerously. “Better! Much better! You look just like me!”

Vergil rolled his eyes. “Of course I look like you, we are twins. I just needed master acting like an imbecile so no one could tell the difference between us.”

Dante crossed his arms. “Don't forget about pulling that icicle out of your ass. Now just go, and try not to act like an asshole to my friends. They might shoot you if they think for one second that you weren't me.”

Vergil smiled, and gave Dante a kiss on his lips. “I still don't think this will work. You need to tell them the truth.”

Dante face scrunched up, the same face when their mother tried to make him eat his broccoli. “I don't wanna. Can we not butt heads right now?”

Vergil pulled back, and gave him the same look their mother always gave him. “Fine, but until you grow a pair, your coming-out drag show of a party is on. I'll make sure Bobby has a large picture of myself in drag, and your name in big multicolored letters right underneath it for his wall.”

Vergil then grabbed Dante's red coat, his guns, and motorcycle keys, and took off. Dante watched his twin walk out the front door, not sure which he could put up with: the girls making pregnant jokes, or the weird phone calls that will inevitably come when Vergil drags his good name through the rainbow colored mud. Either way his reputation as a manly man was trashed. He desperately needed a drink. He looked down at his stomach, and cursed the little spawn he knew was there. “When I squeeze you out, mama's going on a bender.”

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intended to post this sooner, but had a nasty writer's block. The next one might be a little late, but I don't want to rush it, and sacrifice quality. Thanks again for all the kudos, and comments! You guys rock!


	11. Mission Eleven: Whips, Chains, & Cheap Shots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot! I've got over sixteen-hundred hits! Thank you so much guys! This is awesome! I'll try to keep my updates to at least once a month, however they might be a bit slow. Most because of school, and me working on the sequel to my other fic Meeting Under The Wisteria, which you should totally check out if you're a Hikaru No Go fan. Anyways, enough of my shameless self-promotions, here is the next chapter!

 

Mission 11

Whips, Chains, & Cheap Shots

 

Vergil stood outside of the Bull's Eye, staring into his reflection in the window. He looked like Dante. Even though it shouldn't come as a surprise to him, since they were twins, but it never really occurred to him in many years how similar they were. It was mostly because Dante put so much effort into being different from his brother, and anything that reminded him of their father. Vergil cracked a devil-may-care smirk, at the Dante-like reflection, and flirted with it with his best impression of his idiot twin. “Hey babe, looking good. Name's Dante.”

  
Vergil felt some of his insides wither a little. 'I don't think I can do this, but I must.' Vergil scowled, the reflection looking more like himself than the twin he was masquerading. 'That idiot brother of mine made me assume his identity all because he ashamed of his demon side and our demonic spawn! What does he think he's going to do? Hide like a coward from those who care about him, and unload his burden on someone else?' Vergil did a face palm as he realized how hypocritical he was being. Dante was a proud son of Sparda as well, and was just as loathe as Vergil himself was to bear the wound on his manly pride as becoming a mother. “I am such an idiot and worse... a hypocrite. I must go back to him, and apologize, before I make a greater imbecile of myself.”

  
Vergil turned around and saw Lady and Trish staring slack-jawed at him. Lady cleared her throat. “You okay Dante?”

Vergil schooled his features into a Dante like grin. “Yeah, babe, I'm fine! Why you ask?”  
  
Trish glanced at Lady, and looked back at Vergil. “Well, first you told Lady that you want to dress in drag, and throw a coming out party, and now you're spouting words we didn't think were in your vocabulary.”

Lady looked at Vergil shrewdly, “Yeah, words like 'hypocrite', 'apologize', and 'imbecile'. What's going on Dante?”

Vergil looked like a deer in the headlights of an eight-wheeler. He knew Dante's friends were sharp. “Umm... wild night?”

Trish looked at him appraisingly, and then smiled warmly. “You screwed up with Gilver, didn't you? That didn't take long... geez Dante, you can be such a fuck up sometimes, but we love you anyway.”

Lady grinned. “Tell us what you did, and we'll help you out.”

Vergil sighed in relief. His masquerade was saved for now, he couldn't tell them the full truth but he could throw them a small kernel. “We got into a fight... about Nero, and other stuff.”

Lady quirked an eyebrow. “Nero?”

Vergil looked away, slightly ashamed of himself for what he did to poor Nero. “Nero is my son.”

Four eyebrows disappeared into hairlines. Lady, and Trish grabbed Vergil, and dragged the protesting son of Sparda into the Bull's Eye. Trish explained, “Come on Dante, you need a drink, a stiff one.”

Lady groaned. “Hell, I need one too, Dante is a dad... Ugh... I can't think about that while sober.” Lady then jabbed a finger into Vergil chest as she snarled at him. “You've got some explaining to do mister!”

* * *

 

Dante paced back and forth as he waited on Nero. Dante never thought he would be a father, he dreaded being a father. In fact he made damn sure he wouldn't accidentally become father. He ensured with every contraceptive method short of surgery, which thanks to his regenerative abilities would never work, that all of his hook-ups didn't get knocked up. Now he had to play the part of a father to his son, Nero, a result from the unholy union with his demonic twin brother about how demons have sex. Dante groaned, “This so fucked up on so many levels... It's a wonder the kid's taking it so well.”

  
The door opened and the kid walked through looking like he's going to a funeral. He greeted Dante, a little awkwardly. “Hey, old man.”

Dante smirked, feeling uncomfortable, but he wanted this talk over with. So he decided to rip the bandaid off. “Hey kid. So how's Kyrie?”

Nero looked up. “Told her you were my father. She said she wasn't surprised. Couldn't tell her about my mother, for obvious reasons.” Nero pulled a face, like something particularly smelly was shoved under his nose. “Seriously, Dante? Your brother? Your twin brother?”

Dante snorted. “If your about to give me a talk about morals and that kind of shit, you can just shove it. Look at me!” Dante gestured to his own demon form that he was currently stuck in. “I'm not exactly normal, never was, and I stopped pretending over sixteen years ago when I found Vergil again in that nuthouse. We lost our chance to be normal the moment our mother gave birth to us.”

Nero cocked his head. “So if you're embracing your demon side, why hunt demons? Why should I pretend to be human as well?”

Dante sighed. “Truthfully? Because we're neither demon nor human. I fight like a demon, and I fuck like one as well, but I love like a human, and cry like one. I started off hunting demons because my father, your grandfather, dumped his mess on his descendants, and every demon wanted a piece of my ass because dear old dad ain't around anymore to fight. Then I fought demons because it make me feel alive when I didn't want to live after Vergil's fall. Now I fight demons to protect the people I care about. But that isn't why your here. Though we fight demons, and live here in the human world, we ain't human, and we never will be. There's always going to be a demon inside of us, one demon that we will be fighting all of our lives if we don't learn how to live with it.”

Nero looked down pensively at his demonic arm. “I wanna protect Kyrie, it's why I devil triggered, it's why I got this arm of mine. How am I going to protect her from me? I love Kyrie, and I don't want to hurt her, but I want to... well, you know...”

Dante stood up and picked a box, and dumped it at Nero's feet. Dante puffed up proudly. “Don't worry, kid, I came up with a solution to your dilemma. I had the same problem too a few years back when I first devil triggered. I put some poor girl from Love Planet in the hospital, and years of therapy. After that, I swore that would never happen again. So I got these from a special shop in Berlin to 'restrain' the demon inside of me. Since I've got Vergil now, I no longer need them, so I'll pass them onto you, my son.”

Nero peered into the box excitedly. “What is it? Secret book of forgotten magic? A magic amulet made by Sparda? A-” Nero froze as he pulled out leather, handcuffs, chains, and a few ball gags. “German dungeon porn?! That's your solution!”

Dante looked affronted. “Hey these were made in the finest BDSM shop in all of Germany! I had these special ordered to withstand even my demonic strength. With you restrained, Kyrie can safely have her way with you at her own pace, and without getting injured.”

Nero looked down at the BDSM gear with a second look. “This is my only option isn't it?”

Dante shook his head. “No there are others, you can be celibate until your demon blood has had enough, goes on a rampage, and get hunted down by hunters like Trish or Lady. Or you can try to find a strong enough demon that doesn't want to kill you for carrying the blood of Sparda like I did. I warn you, there's a very short list of those with Vergil and me making up that list. Even Trish had to use these on me, I've killed demonesses in the throws of passion on a few occasions, to be fair they all wanted to kill me.”

Nero blanched. “So my only other options is either a short life of no sex ending with me going nuts or a nasty three way with my damn parents, who are brothers?” Nero shuddered, and took the box of bondage gear. “No thanks, I think I'll take the German dungeon porn option.”

Dante teased Nero, pretending to look hurt. “Aww, why don't you want me? Aren't I pretty enough for you?” Dante batted his eyelashes at him.

Nero growled and pulled his gun on Dante. “I will shoot you in the face, old man!”

Dante laughed. “But if you kill me, Vergil will never want to screw you!”

Nero growled louder, and his eyes turned red as he devil triggered. Dante laughed, and threw up his hands in surrender. “Easy kid, I'm just pulling your leg!”

Nero relaxed and threw a smirk Dante's way. “No offense old man, but I'd rather have German dungeon sex with a nice normal girl that I'm not related to, than a crazy old geezer like you or the mummy.”

Dante smiled, and gave Nero an affectionate slap on the shoulder. “Good choice, now let me show you how to use these.” Dante pulled out the handcuffs. “Now these will be your most dangerous of toys since they can cut off circulation.”

Nero swallowed nervously. “What did I get myself into?”

* * *

Vergil thought that since Dante did it all the time that it would be easy, but no, apparently there was more to drinking than chugging it back like a brain-dead gorilla in a red coat. He swayed back, and forth in his seat with the two ladies in front of him laughing, and snorting. They seem much nicer now after one or seven shots of bourbon. Vergil felt warm, and weird, and was that pink elephant floating by? The ringing voice of his not-mother caught his attention. “So Nero's mother was your prom date in high school named Virginia? I half expected her to be a prostitute.”

Vergil giggled. “Yeah, that's what Dante called me! Nobody noticed it was me in drag! Dante couldn't get one girl in high school, so he turns to his favorite twin!”

Trish, and Lady gave him puzzled looks. Lady asked, “You mean, that's what Vergil called you, Right, Dante?”

Vergil giggled again, “Nope! I'm Vergil” He shushed them, “But don't tell anyone! It's a secret!”

Trish asked him, “Hey Dante, are you this drunk already? It usually takes twice this much to get you shit-faced.”

Vergil giggled, and threw back another shot. “I'm fine, not-mom! I can take it! If that gorilla brother of mine can do it so can I!” Vergil thought of how bad he had treated his brother in the past, and how he abandoned Nero. He started crying. “I'm a horrible brother! I'm sorry, mom! I didn't take care of him!”

Trish, and Lady looked at each other worried. Lady took the bottle off the table. “Okay, Dante we're cutting you off.”

Vergil tried to get up, but stumbled, and fell face flat on the floor, passed out drunk. Lady kicked him a little. He was out like a light. Lady was worried. “Trish, you don't think that Dante, our Dante, was Vergil all along, do you?”

Trish stared at Vergil, passed out on the floor. “I don't know. They were twins, so they could've switched... but when?”

Lady felt her insides grow cold. Dante was never the same after Mallet Island. “You said Dante fought Vergil on Mallet Island, right? Is it possible that Vergil was victorious, killed Dante under Mundus's control, and took his twin's identity as a way of redeeming himself?”

Trish shivered. “It's possible... I mean, Mundus said Vergil had failed, not that he was killed, but wouldn't he be able to tell the two apart?”

Lady paused. “Didn't this guy just say Nero's parents were Dante, and Vergil in drag?”

Trish shrugged. “I think that would be the bourbon talking. Whoever this guy is, he's our friend, and we shouldn't leave him on the floor.”

Lady searched Vergil's pockets, and pulled out Dante's wallet, and paid Bobby, and pocketed some of it. “Dante still owes me money... So you wanna grab his feet and I'll get his arms?”

Trish took out her lipstick, and mascara, and looked at Vergil's unconcious body with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Sure, but after we give him a makeover.”

After giving Vergil a makeover, they dragged his unconscious body to the Devil May Cry. They stopped by a costume shop, and bought a Princess Aurora costume with his money. They spent ten minutes debating between Snow White or Sleeping Beauty, and settled on Aurora's blue dress since it matched his eyes. They gleefully stuffed him in it, and took lots of pictures. They carried the “Sleeping Beauty” to the couch, and dumped him on it with a note for Gilver in lipstick. They quickly snuck out when they heard movement upstairs, incorrectly assuming it was Gilver.

The real Dante was woken up at stupid O'clock in the morning from the sounds of his friends giggling, and drunk chortles. He felt like a douche for throwing Vergil to the dogs, or his friends in this case, but he was still angry the asshole got him knocked up, whether on purpose or by accident was a moot point. He went downstairs to see what they did to his twin. What he saw on the couch, he was not prepared for. His jaw fell slack. Vergil was in a powder blue Disney princess dress, complete with a shiny plastic tiara. “Is that lipstick? Holy shit Vergil's wearing make-up! Those girls did a fantastic job with his eyeshadow, too!”

He saw the folded note sticking out from under Vergil's rhinestone and powder blue silk bosom. Dante smiled when he saw it was written in Trish's lipstick. “Dear Gilver, I Dante, am really sorry for being a fuck-up. I love you, and I want you to kiss me awake.”

Dante felt a warmth spread in his heart. Lady and Trish really did care about him, and they didn't hate Vergil or rather Gilver anymore. He took in the sight of his brother in drag, and kiss him on the lips. Vergil was out cold. Dante laughed, and scrambled looking for his camera. He wanted pictures of this to remember for years to come.

When Dante got the camera, he decided he didn't like the background of the couch, and decided to take Vergil up to their bed. After fooling around with lights, and background decorations, he remembered he had sexy costumes that Trish left behind, and never wore for reasons Dante could not fathom. Dante decided to play dress-up with Vergil. He ended up filling the camera up with Vergil in various poses on the bed, and many costumes that Vergil wouldn't be caught dead yet. Dante decided he was going to make it into a calender. Dante grinned. “I think this one of him in the leather bondage gear should be October, and the pink sexy nurse should be February!”

When Dante was done playing dress up with Vergil, he dressed him down to his birthday suit. Dante cleaned off the make-up, and any evidence of Dante playing Barbie with his twin. Dante settled next to Vergil, his naked bare skin, against his own demonic scaly hide. He felt Vergil cuddle up in his drunken slumber, and mumble, “M' sorry, Dante... I'm a bad brother...Stupid pride...”

Dante smiled, and kissed the top of Vergil's head. “It's okay, Vergil. I forgave you the moment you came back. Sweet dreams, Verge, because you are going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning.”

 

* * *

 

 


	12. Hungover and Hungout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry for the late wait! I truly am. My MacBook pro finally died, and with my art student budget it took quite awhile to get a proper replacement. Between computer death, school, and writer's block, it took me forever to get this chapter out, and it's a short one. I was planning to put a sex on the beach scene in this chapter but I thought you guys waited long enough. As a thank you for all of you wonderful comments, and the kudos you guys gave me. I made you all some art. It's Sleeping Beauty: Devil May Cry style, and it's on my Tumblr account under the name ayosdi. I don't use it as much as I should.

 

Vergil woke up the next morning with a stinging light hitting him in the face. It made his head feel like someone shoved Yamato through it. It was the sun. He hated the ball of fire with every fiber of his being in that very moment. He tried to move, and his limbs felt heavy. When he became slightly more aware he realized that he was in his bed at the Devil May Cry with no recollection as to how he got there or even how he got home. He was also completely naked. That was nothing new though these days with his renewed relationship with Dante. The pain in his head, however, was new. “Hng... What happened to me? What is this? I feel like my head is going to have some kind of demon baby...”

The answer strolled in, red and scaly, and like an angel of mercy, or in this case a tempting devil, carrying a glass of water, and a bottle of Aspirin. Dante gave him a wide shit eating grin. “Well, Verge, that nasty demon head baby is called a hangover. Take this, and it'll stop kicking.”

Vergil snatched the water, and pills out of his hands. When he gulped down the water and what was left of the well-used Aspirin, he glared at Dante. “What happened to me?”

Dante laughed. The sound made the hangover head baby kick harder. “You got drunk, bro! I mean really pissed-drunk off of your ass! The girls dropped you off dressed like well... You don't want to know, but I promise that I did nothing untoward your unconscious body!”

Dante was a shitty liar, and Vergil was a pulsing, throbbing, angry lie detector. “What the fuck did you do to me, Dante?!”

Dante shuffled uncomfortably. Just like whenever he broke something, and tried to cover his own ass by giving Vergil the puppy eyes he never could resist. “Nothing worth killing me over, and remember I am carrying our spawn in my gut so no need to make junior suffer and it's all the girls' fault anyway. I'm innocent. Really!”

Vergil growled. “I have other ways of making you suffer than killing, maiming, or dismembering you.”

Dante coughed, and walked to his closet, and pulled out a box labelled “Halloween Decorations” and pulled out a powder blue dress. It was a glittery monstrosity that Vergil might have seen once upon a distant dream when he was young, fairly innocent, and still watched cartoons. It looked like Sleeping Beauty's dress if it was a porn flick. Vergil grimaced. “What is that, and why do you even have that?”

Dante gulped. “I found you passed out in my shop last night... wearing this. I assume the girls played dress up with you. They did that to me once, but it was pink...”

Dante flinched and took a step back expecting an explosion or the sharp cold kiss of Yamato. Vergil's expression was blank. Then he rolled over and buried his head in Dante's pillow. A muffled, “Fuck it...” was heard. Then, “Dante, please burn that, and don't wake me.”

Dante let out a sigh of relief. He was off the hook for now. Vergil was too hungover to wreak terrible vengeance. He'd have to remember that in the future. He felt bad for selling out his friends, but they ran up his credit cards with their stupid expensive clothes, so he was low on pity at the moment as well as money. He slowly backed out of the room, keeping his eye on the silvery head of the slumbering demon. There was no telling if Vergil would leap out and change his mind about slicing Dante's limbs off. He closed the door with a soft click.

When Dante rummaged around the kitchen for food the bell on the front door rang, telling him he had visitors. Fuck. Dante was naked. Usually that wasn't a problem, but it was when he was sporting horns and a red scaly ass. He prayed that it was Nero. The doorbell rang again, and then that someone yelled. “Hey, old man! You here?”

Dante came out of hiding, relieved. Somebody up there decided to be merciful to him today. “Hey, punk! So how'd it go- Wow! You look like shit!”

Nero looked like something a blitz dragged in. His hair was a mess, he had a pronounced limp, and his eyes were bloodshot. “I think my girlfriend's a demon!”

Dante stood up straighter. “Seriously? Lie down on the couch, kid, and tell pops all about it. Did Kyrie dump you?”

Nero groaned as he limped to the couch. He winced when he sat down. “No, she didn't dump me. I told her 'bout the stuff we talked about, and she was all for it.” Nero paused when he spotted a powder blue dress in his hand. “Umm, Dante? What is that?”

Dante held it out in all of it glittery girly glory. “Lady, and Trish got my brother drunk, and dressed him up. He was passed out on my couch last night wearing this, so being the wonderful brother that I am, I took pictures. So what's this about Kyrie being the kinky type?”

Nero cracked a grin. “Forget about that! I wanna see those pictures!”

Dante looked upstairs as if a rampaging blue devil would come barreling out any second. When the coast was clear, he took his camera, and a folder of pictures from his hiding place behind the jukebox. “I'm thinking about turning these into a calendar. One of those classic pin-ups. But all Vergil!” Dante's grin widened. “A little payback for all the shit Verge put me through recently.”

Nero grabbed the folder and thumbed through several lovely prints of the cold, prim man he barely knew in outfits that were meant for strippers... female strippers. Nero burst out laughing. “Oh my god! How are you not dead yet, old man?! The mummy will kill you if he found these!”

Dante snatched the prints back. “Which is why this is a secret between us, kid. Now it's your turn. What happened.”

Nero groaned. “Kyrie said she's always wanted to try that German dungeon porn you seem to be into, and had some ideas she read about in some manga she read. Something about yaoi...”

Dante let out low whistle. “Wow, never pegged her for-” Dante flinched when he saw how hard it was for Nero to sit. “Sorry poor choice of words, I mean Kyrie always seemed the vanilla type. I guess I anal-” Dante stumbled when he saw Nero glare at him. “Oops sorry again! I guess I misjudged her, but hey! This is a great thing! You have an open-minded partner that's sweet, loving, kinky, and won't shaft you! That time was on purpose.”

Nero growled. “Like you're one to talk! My ass will never be the same!”

Dante forgot about his hungover and grouchy brother, however Vergil did not forget him. Vergil slammed the door open, and shambled out from their bedroom to throw an energy sword past Dante's head. “Keep it down, imbecile! You're making the head baby kick!” Vergil seemed to notice Nero was there, who was curled up on their couch. Vergil blinked, and walked down to greet him, taking in his son's ragged appearance. “Ah, Nero, you're here. Are you hungover as well?”

Dante slid the folder with his incriminating pictures behind him and under the table. He laughed. “Nope! Our kid's become a man now! Lost his virginity last night!”

Nero glared at Dante. Vergil looked Nero up and down, and sniffed. “It appears that he just didn't lose it, he eradicated it. Whom have you chosen as your mate? He must be a strong one.”

Nero glared at Vergil. “Her name is Kyrie and she was a sweet, innocent, choir singer back at the order, a normal girl. She's not like either one of you two. At least I thought she was normal...”

Vergil snorted. “You are the fruit of our loins. Our family doesn't do normal, look at the women in your father's life, and our parents weren't exactly normal either. Even Mother had her peculiarities, if she did not we would not be here.”

Nero pouted, and crossed his arms. “Is it so much to ask for to have a normal life.”

“Yes.” Dante replied.

Vergil sighed. “Correct me if I am wrong, Nero, but did not have fun?”

Nero looked at Vergil as if contemplating something. “Yeah, and that's what scares me. I triggered, and wanted to bite her, to taste her blood, her flesh...”

Dante rested a hand on Nero's shoulder. “Kid, that's what it means to be a demon. Just count yourself lucky that you have us to turn to. In the years we got separated we were alone with this power inside us, like a caged beast. Which is why after sex it's important to go hunting or if there are no demons to be found, get drunk.”

Vergil rolled his eyes and sneered at his twin. “Or you can learn control, and discipline. I can teach you where my dolt of a twin cannot.”

Dante pouted. “Hey, I can disciplined too!”

Vergil smirked. “You wished to be disciplined, dear brother? Very well, wait for the boy to leave and I'll discipline you all you like.”

Dante groaned. “I walked right into that one.”

Vergil chuckled and then winced. “Ow. Laughing hurts. Still, it was worth it. Dante, do we have any jobs? I need to kill something.”

Dante shook his head. “Nope. All dead. Not even a demon mouse stirring.”

Vergil slumped in an uncharacteristically Dante-esque fashion. “Damn, I need to kill something.”

Dante grinned, getting an idea. “Hey, about a road trip? You, me, the kid, and some surf. I know a beach with zero people, mostly because it was infested with demons, and body parts kept turning up.”

Vergil sat up straighter with sudden interest. “Does it still have demons?”

Dante nodded. “Maybe if we're lucky. What about you kid?”

Nero shook his head. “Nah. I promised Kyrie that we'd go out to brunch.”

Nero looked up at the clock, and stood up. “I gotta go. Have fun, and thanks.”

The door opened and closed, leaving Dante, and Vergil alone. Dante stared at the door where Nero left. “Vergil, do you think we'd be okay parents? I mean, the kid, our kid. Nero. He was alone most of his life, and I don't know how to take care of a baby.”

Vergil sighed. “I don't know, but I can't leave our second child alone. Not after what the Order put Nero through. As for taking care of infants, there are books on that subject available, perhaps some study?”

Dante's blank stare, and pulled frown gave Vergil the feeling that all of the studying would left to him. 'Typical. Dante never cracked open a book unless it had pictures of boobs.' Vergil shook his head. “Fine. I'll study how to take care of our coming spawn, and you can just follow along. Now take me to this beach. I desire bloodshed, the agonized screams of something dying by Yamato's blade and a pleasant stroll on the sand.”

Dante smirked, grabbed his car keys, Rebellion, and a blanket to cover his scaly demon hide. “Come on, Verge, the car is out here. I'm driving.”

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Mission Thirteen: Sex On The Beach


End file.
